Focus

Mind Games

2012-02-19T10:28:00.000-08:00

Before I forget :- I would like to thank my blogger friends who have shown concern about my fear of memory loss. I have taken advice from as many people as possible . My fears are somewhat under control. I have been reading a lot also. Reading is helping me understand that there are a lot more factors than we can think of that effect our minds. I urge everyone to please be aware of how you treat your body and what you eat. My concern is mostly for the little ones as they depend on us.

When it comes to research some people have this reaction: "The laboratory animals that we test chemicals on are too small for the doses given." Also some people say that the FDA has approved so it must be safe. My question is why is something considered safe in the US and not in the UK? Are we, as citizens less valuable to the government of the United States or do we not care about our health or our kids health especially emotional and mental health?
I do not know when and how artificial colors got into prepared food market. I am guilty of serving my kids sugary and colorful drinks and got for them colorful cereal as well. As soon as I read about the ban of artificial food colors in the UK I have become very careful. The strange thing is that manufacturers are using colors where they are not even needed. Why does a box of cereal that is supposed to have chocolate and peanut butter use artificial red and blue? To make the chocolate flavored cereal look extra chocolaty?

Believe me, I do not like to see a child cry. I do not have any control on what is sold either. So what can I do when the end caps of shelves have colorful candy? I am suppose to be there to solve problems, handle complaints and make customers forget their problems. My conscience however tells me to warn moms to keep their kids away from artificial colors. Most of the time moms pay attention and listen carefully and thank me saying that they will look up and or read more about additives. However, one mom said that her kids are not sensitive to the artificial colors. More over, for her, getting a seventy-five percent deal on left over Valentine's Day treats coated with red and pink frosted with blue, purple and yellow crinkles was too good a deal to pass up.

Pain For Perfection - -

2012-02-13T16:53:00.000-08:00

I keep getting flashbacks, I mean my memory is very vivid when it comes to certain conversations that my mother and father had in our backyard in India. It would be a moonlit night and my father would be in his easy chair and my mother, sometimes my aunt too, would be sitting on the veranda steps and they would talk till midnight about life itself. They would discuss how certain kings lost their kingdoms to the British, because of their own negligence. Sometimes they would discuss how fine art was a result of struggles people went through. The last king of the famous Mogul Empire had lost everything to the British, because his own courtiers were unfaithful to him. That last king ended up dying far outside his kingdom. His name however lives because of his poetry. A lot of modern day singers have selected his poetry for their song and they are beautiful. Yet since the singers have not gone through the pains that the king/poet had to go through, one cannot hear the spark in their voices. One can only appreciate the beauty of the king's poetry.

It is Grammy Monday today, I mean a lot of us have gone to work either to sleep or to discuss Adele. When I first heard "Rolling in the deep", I thought of Adele as a forty some years old woman, who is hurting. I was shocked to find out that she is so young. Yesterday during the Grammys she mentioned something about bad relationship, I came to understand that she is not just singing that song, she has lived that song. That is the reason that song touches so many people's hearts.

The results of what autotuning is doing to our young people and their songs will be visible only after comparing them to Adele. I hope that no one has to go through what Adele has gone through in her journey of such a young life. On the other hand, I wish that today's singers (including singers from India) try and understand that beauty in singing will be heard if they sing from their heart.

Last week they played a song on the radio, that had the glimpse of a shattered heart. At first I thought that some one was copying Adele. Then my mind went towards Heidi Klum, as she has just broken up with Seal. Then I laughed as Heidi Klum is not a singer. Within a second I said, "Could this be Katy Perry?" Right after the song ended the announcer said, that it was Katy Perry. Growing up is hard, but music is harder.

One from the general public - - -

2012-02-04T15:25:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was wear red for Women's heart health day so I made it a point to wear a red shirt under my black cardigan. Little did I know that some associates had planned to wear blue for the Giants. I felt a little left out, but I am not the one to let something like that bother me so I told everyone that I will try and wear blue on Sunday as I am working on Sunday. Case closed? Now I have to dig and find a dressy blue top. Times like these bug me a lot. I do not want to spend twenty-five to thirty dollars and buy a blue top that may not be even dressy enough. I am in trouble. Really? One of my coworkers said that I should be gutsy enough to say that I don't care for the Giants or the sports or even New York. The economy is so bad and the unemployment rate is so high.

I simply listen to what everyone has to say because it helps me understand people. I mean, our unemployment rate compared to Florida is not so bad. Exactly how many people have lost their jobs at Cape Canaveral, I wouldn't know but hey that was the pride and joy of America once upon a time and one of man's greatest achievements took place because of the people who work there. The issue however remains about the budget, then again what position does the general public have in saying where the money goes?
Ocean girl had posted a video that got my attention. Someone who lives oceans away from America is trying to understand the politics of the US. This got me embarrassed. I used to get A plus in political science papers in college, but again that was college and they were just papers. How did Democracy get tarnished? Maybe it is a good thing that I did not become a teacher after all. What would I tell my students when they would ask what say do we have in how and where the money goes. My husband made a remark while watching Howie Mandel on Pierce Morgan show. He said this guy seems to know that we need to pick someone from general public to be our leader. I was not paying attention but if Howie Mandel said something like that he is a political genius, a germaphobe he may be.

On My Mind

2012-01-21T13:02:00.000-08:00

Before I forget :- I cannot begin to say how much I love to read what my blogger friends have to say and how much I like to let them know how I feel about what they have to say. However, lately I have not been able to leave a comment on certain blogs. I have been feeling helpless because I was not able to leave soothing messages for them. For eg. when you read/hear that a friend's daughter had to undergo emergency surgery in the middle of a move, or someone's about to lose their home or someone was wrongly accused of something and was summoned to the court but they were generous enough to not even forgive the accuser but take them to dinner because they were elderly people. I want to say that I wish that things are better. Even with people who are writing happy things I want to say that I am happy for them. Just because blogger is making it difficult to write comments, I don't want to seem to be careless.

I just hope that none of the terrific writers of bloggerhood get effected by the SOPA that we have been hearing about. I really love the stories behind music in Sarah Pearson's blog. Also I have used some YouTube videos in a couple of blogs too. So I ask everyone that this SOPA bill in congress does not have a chance. I don't know enough about it to blog, but I am sure by now a lot of my blogger friends have heard about it.

Angry?

2012-01-11T17:20:00.000-08:00

My parents did not have a car and neither did my husband's. People who could afford a car could easily afford a chauffeur (getting someone to work for you did not cost much). Needless to say, we did not know what a parking meter was. When I left for England in 1971, going to work by underground railroad was actually very relaxing. No traffic back ups, no gasoline expense and no parking meters. Then moving to the US suburbs, driving has been quite smooth. Occasionally I would have to go to Broadway to DMV or other official work and there I either ask my husband to drop me or stay in the car so there is no parking violation. My husband is very helpful when he sees that you are vulnerable and he knows that I panic while pulling out the car from a narrow parking spot onto the busy traffic of the busiest place of businesses. How I wish I was like some of my friends who can zoom in and out of tiny spaces without hesitation. I do put a quarter in the parking meter anyway in spite of my husband yelling at me. I simply say I do not want to be penny wise and pound foolish, you never know if there is a dime-size camera or even what about our inner voice. He keeps grumbling and I am quiet telling myself that I did the right thing.

So, I may be paranoid about breaking rules. Does our government need that quarter? I am not so sure about that. According to a disgruntled driver, he was given so many unfair parking tickets that he could not take it anymore. So what does he do? He goes and shuts the coin slots, dollar slots, and even credit card slots in a lot of parking meters with glue. The police have their way of finding out when vandalism of this kind takes place. They stayed on top of things and now he is arrested.

My question is when people find things to be unfair, have they ever heard about people who did not have a right to vote in some countries?

Second Best

2012-01-08T17:12:00.000-08:00

My father used to say that my mother used to be a very stylish lady and she was. She used to wear beautiful sarees, beautiful jewelry, beautiful shoes, and always carried beautiful handbags. As our family grew bigger my parent's budget got rearranged several times. My mother would not buy new things, but we survived.

Dealing with vendors, discussing the slightest change in the shade of a piece of clothing, a zipper pull not being of the exact style or even the shape of the buttons not having the details it should, had turned me into one of those people. You know who I am talking about.Those people to whom style meant everything. I mean that was my job, checking and making sure that even baby clothes are perfect to the specifications of styles. Working for a better brand company I had to oblige by the rules. Now that I am working in customer service I am beginning to understand the very nature of our economy. I have understood that one of the culprits for our diminishing dollar is our health care cost. Little did I realize that it could be the struggle of keeping up with the joneses.

A lot of clothes are on sale now. Not just clothes, but shoes, jewelry, handbags and things you decorate your house with.

Today on Linkedin someone had asked a question about trends in retail. My answer was that customers have changed from endcap shoppers to need based shopper. This is true (except for my husband who picks up dog food, just because it was on the endcap, even though we don't have a dog any more.) This answer of mine was derived from the fact that some young people think that it is the duty of their parents to buy the best of everything for them. When all of the big brands were sold, a young lady told her mother (who was happy to pay two hundred dollars for an eight hundred dollar coat) that the second best will have to do. I think that my HR lady was right to put me in this job.

After Thoughts

2012-01-03T16:45:00.000-08:00

Before I forget I would like to thank everyone who reads what I have to say. My blogger page does not show any pictures or links, so I can't personally say thanks. I would like to read everyone's blog as well. Also thanks everyone for each of your blog entries. All of the blogs that I read are full of inspiration and/or information. Like Hillary from Positive Notes would say "Cheers"!

OK, so I may be a little self-absorbed these days but am I so oblivious that I did not feel when 2011 came and went by ? I guess when work kind of consumes you and you have duties stacked up even after work hours people just tend to ignore their own hobbies. I did try to read though because writing is something that needs to be read and good writing does not come by just like that. So once again thanks everyone for writing.

I also would like to mention how good it makes me feel when I find out that some people who I know as bloggers are now actually published writers. Ann of Inkpots and Quills , Sharon Mahew of Random thoughts, Tracy of My thoughtful spot, Elizebeth Mueller, Dorris Plaster of Hold My Hand and last but not least Michael Offut of SLC Kismet who is a soon to be published author this year (whose book I still have to bookmark in Good Read.). I would like to apologise if I have not mentioned anyone else.

My elders have told me that we are the designers of our own destiny. I guess for them memory loss may not have been an issue. I may have to design my own destiny around that handicap in case my brain gives in. I have been pretty good with my memory ever since I have taken control of my own meds. I have to remember that my health is my own responsibility.

I am sure by now most of my blogger friends have heard these good news of three sets of twins being born with a time difference of a minute or so, hence having birth dates in two different years. Congratulations to the proud parents in New York, in Minnesota, and in Florida. Also welcome new babies. We will try to make this world as comfy as possible. It may not match your mother's womb but we will do our best to keep you warm.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS

2011-12-25T07:31:00.000-08:00

HAPPY HOLIDAYS

Happy Holidays everyone. Best wishes from my family and me for the Holidays, for the New Year, and the years to come.

Tension building up - - -

2011-12-21T18:31:00.000-08:00

The scene at work has totally changed from what it was a week ago. It is interesting and painful at the same time. I mean the happiness and chuckle that was in the voice of customers just a week ago has suddenly changed into rudeness and defensiveness. When people were helping each other and exchanging coupons and letting people cut in line a few days ago it was like Christmas was already there in the store. Now people are getting impatient and fiesty and insensitive about other people's needs. It seems like they are entitled for the best and fastest service. Am I right in attributing this tense situation to bad planning on some people's part or is it that the fact that some of us cannot afford to get presents is making things seem darker than they are? Or maybe a lot more is going on with people who are tense more than they have to be.

I must have sent half a dozen blessings to Paul, the trainer who taught me how to be a good sales person a long time ago. I must have had six different jobs since then, but this holiday period each one of the tips is coming handy. So today when customers come and ask me what they can get for their spouses or kids, the first thing I ask them is how much they can afford. Then when the customer says that he can charge, I simply suggest that they get what they can afford without having to charge, so they don't get "after holidays" worries. They look at me strange, but believe it or not a couple of young people actually told their parents that they are fine with just one gift each. It was then like a blessing was around us. People heard each other talk. Then they wanted to do the same. Three other customers got the idea of buying only one gift each for their family members. While I was standing calmly hoping that I have solved a problem or two, someone who worked in the store was complaining that instead of selling I was stopping people from spending. What are we to do? Let the tension build just so our numbers go up?

Michael Offutt: I'm a Pied Piper and the Easily Flushed Blog Hop

2011-12-06T12:17:00.000-08:00

Michael Offutt: I'm a Pied Piper and the Easily Flushed Blog Hop Congratulations on the award you just recieved. All those bloggers are new to me. I will read their blogs one by one as soon as I get a chance. Also I will tweet about the polar bear and post it on my blog too, as soon as I figure out how. I am tchnologically challenged so it may take some time.
Please read Michael's blog. He is a Sci-Fi writer soon to be published and is a recipient of several of blog awards.

Pains behind gift giving

2011-12-03T12:09:00.000-08:00

My brother, a retired US Navy Chief is loved by family and friends and coworkers alike for his hard work and his sense of humor. However, when he came to the US in 1977, he was not very confident about how he would survive as he had not finished his college. Our Mom used to worry about his future as well, you know how people worry about a man supporting his wife and kids. Then he joined the Navy and soon after that he met a very nice girl. She became an inspiration for him. He pulled through the verbal abuse that comes with the basic training and the physical hardships as well. They had a simple wedding and he would sometimes take her on his ship and sometimes leave her home with her parents. When they had a beautiful baby girl, he did the same thing. A year later, they had one more cutie. Now a father of two little girls, he would go abroad sometimes leaving them with his in-laws and somtimes with our Mom and very rarely taking them with him. Now that he is retired, he spends a lot of quality time with his wife and his daughters who are in their teenage years, teaches them how to stay away from troubles and the importance of education. However, when it comes to spending money, anyone who knows him thinks that he is spoiling them. He says that when his wife and kids ask for something, no matter how expensive it may be he will not say no. His logic is that they were very patient when he was away and very supportive when he would be too tired to do anything fun with them. He always says that what they gave him is more than he could ever give them, so he tries to buy them what ever they want.
When I come home from work and talk to my husband about how people are spending money, he tells me that I do not know what they could be going through. He tells me to look at my brother and understand people's pain behind their gift giving.

Gray Hair Representative

2011-11-29T17:56:00.000-08:00

Corporations do not really have room for comfort. So my comfort days are over, at least for this year.
Instead of sneakers and khakis I have to wear black pumps that kill my feet and polyester/silk blends that don't allow my skin to breathe. Instead of getting my daily walk, I am standing behind a counter helping people with spending their money like they grow it in their backyard. Instead of being behind the scenes I am working up front.

One good thing came out of this change in my job. I am learning how much people still have to learn.

A father of three kids wanted me to help him decide whether he should get a five hundred dollar winter jacket or a diamond teddy bear pendant for his daughter who is in Junior High School. I showed him different options within his budget of five hundred dollars for each of his kids and two thousand dollar budget for his wife. I thought that it was very generous of him. After he spent close to three thousand dollars and got free gift boxes he was really happy. He also got a free wreath as he had spent so much money.

My next customer started whispering things that I really did not want to hear. I did understand her point though. So I just said, "When it comes to parenting, we are all work in progress."

Happy Thanksgiving

2011-11-23T16:58:00.000-08:00

HAPPY THANKSGIVING to my family, my friends, my blogger friends, my neighbours, my coworkers and my bosses. I hope everyone's wishes come true.

Drive carefully everyone and stay safe.

Elite go green - - -

2011-11-20T11:52:00.000-08:00

We saw this tote bag in Barnes and Noble today. It looked interesting to me, so I went close and looked at it. This is made from empty juice boxes that were recycled. I was really tempted to buy it and it took a lot of strength to stop myself. I found the price to be a little steep for a tote bag. I mean, my mom always sewed tote bags, from gabardine pants that my brothers wore out in the knees. We used those to buy dry groceries. Plastic bags for carrying groceries was a foreign concept to me when we moved from India to New York State in 1974. I wanted to take those bags back to buy groceries in them, but I was told that it looks cheap. So instead, I started using them as liners for small garbage cans in our rooms. We were still buying the big hefty bags for the kitchen and for leaves. Then somewhere in the eighties, supermarkets started giving back 2 cents per bag we used over again. Still my friends told me that we get looks from the packers if we brought our own bags. So I felt ashamed. So we all went with the flow and hardly recycled anything until almost the end of last century, when we started bringing our own bags. Now why did I go with the flow? Fear of looking cheap?

Last time when my son came home from Hawaii, I told him how I am a closet environmentalist as I washed and saved plastic forks. He laughed and said that everyone is into recycling, I do not have to be ashamed any more.

Would I listen to myself ? Now why did I feel ashamed to recycle when I come from a place where recycling is the way of life? We left India to make a better life. Does it mean that we start copying the elite ? Well, who are the elite? I would not know.

The snowstorm of last month left us without power for forty hours. Then there were people without power even up to a week. So a lot of people went to hotels, but some hotels and businesses did not have a working generator. People were forced to do without refrigeration and hot coffee and even heat. They had to make use of blankets and live minimally. Then they realized how difficult it is to do without resources. Now just about everyone, especially the elite, is trying to be careful with hot water and heat and electricity.

How often do we need storms like these?

A Gift Of Gardening Experience

2011-11-12T16:55:00.000-08:00

These were grown in Orange County New York. However kids in Junior High and High School in Texas will not be able to complete their garden that started growing. Thanks to Donors Choose program a lot of kids throughout the United States are able to work at projects or receive necessary equipment their school would not be able to provide. This year in spite of getting help, from Donors Choose Program, Texas kids are not able to enjoy the harvest of their hard work. Please help if you can. I am sure they will appreciate a lot.

Here is the link if you would like to help.

October

2011-10-31T15:41:00.000-07:00

It was few years ago we were driving on route 9, through Beacon and Cold Spring New York, my husband asked me to write a poem on the month of October as he loves the fall foliage. By the time we got home, I had the poem ready for him. He loves it. Being a science person he does not look at poetry in a critical way. As long as I conveyed his feelings he is happy. Here it is.

October

Colorful leaves of New York Autumn

your beauty is so mellow

Orange, Red and royal Maroon,

lightest Green and Yellow

Heavenly horticulture

surrounding all the highways

you cover majestic mountains

and shine through the sun rays

Graceful, delicate and short lived,

like Tulips and the Daffodils,

you always surrender to winter land

and make room for the sleigh bells

I remember that he pointed out the word "the" before Daffodils as he too had read the famous poem. Then I realized that I should not have assumed that just because he is a science person , he would have nothing to do with fine arts. I was ashamed.

Some thing Fun

2011-10-23T12:51:00.000-07:00

Some thing fun or spooky.? My brother sent these to make me laugh.

Look Out

2011-10-22T13:42:00.000-07:00

We do most of our learning by the first four years of our lives, they say. I tend to minus the first nineteen years, (up to twelve years in childhood, then the emo teenage years.) I mean besides our activities of daily life, what aspects of serious life business do we know before we are out of high school? "Plenty," says my husband, because according to him a lot depends on where we come from. He thinks that if you are sheltered you don't learn much, but if you suffer through childhood and teenage years you learn a lot. So, would we know how to recognise kids who are distressed or stressed even and are thinking of killing themselves? I mean if you are a teenager and you see a young girl in deep depression because she is watching her parents go through a divorce would you think she would OD? Or would you just think that it is one of those things emo teenagers go through? Even as an adult if you see an otherwise pleasant co-worker unusually quiet or even complaining that his wife is always putting him down would you think that he would kill himself after killing his wife and kids? How do we know how to help people preemptively? Can we learn?

If you are that one person who is always ahead of the game when it comes to arranging secret Santa or are the person who buys a birthday card and collects wishes for someones birthday, then you can be that person to suggest to the HR of your company to see if there can be a counselor who can come and lecture at your facility. If you are a parent of a kid in high school, you can ask your school board to train people to watch out for signs. I think what we need to do is look out for each other.

Two murder suicide cases on national television are more than enough to make me break till I shatter. It is time we say something to the people with clout.

Value A Life

2011-10-16T16:40:00.000-07:00

It was very hard for me to blog yesterday. I have been to the walkway before, but I never felt tired as I did yesterday. Then I realized that emotional stress can be even more tiring than physical hard work. I felt selfish for thinking about myself, when there were people who had lost their children, their siblings, their parents, their friends and their spouses to suicide. At the end of the walk all I wanted to do was to remember the Hudson as serene as I always found it to be. So I asked my daughter to take a picture.

What does it take for people to educate people about the seriousness of suicide? I wouldn't know. It was a hard reality for me, forty years ago, when my classmates and I lost my best friend to suicide. Yesterday we saw quite a few people wearing different colored beads to honor the loss of loved ones.

When we saw the actual faces of the people on the quilts people had made for their missing loved ones it was extremely hard to look at the survivors. Yet they were very brave.

There were many more quilts, I just did not have the heart to look at them, let alone take picture.

We were not prepared how upset we would be. So I came to an understanding that we have to learn to value life.

Let the echoes of love and understanding resonate.

Learn about mental illnesses.

If you feel that your family is dysfunctional get help.

There is help out there, get it before it is too late.

Tell each other how much you care.

Just remember that your life is very valuable

Also you are not alone in this world.

You are always loved you just don't know it yet.

Understanding?

2011-10-08T15:42:00.000-07:00

When it comes to science, botany was my limit. I love plants. When it comes to the human body, it's a different story. I leave everything to my doctor. I always have. However, for the last couple of years the whole infrastructure and protocol of medical practice has changed. Now when I go in, I think I spend less than 20% of the time of my visit with the doctor. The rest is spent in the waiting room, then in the examination room with the PA who asks me the questions that a doctor is supposed to ask me, then the doctor walks in with a smile and after a handshake spends five minutes with me, talks to me while looking at the computer, barely looking at me. I told him in my last visit that I feel funny, and that I could be losing my mind, I have become irritable and forgetful. He smiles and says that everyone forgets a little bit as they get older, the less I think about it the better.
Before I forget:- I urge all my family members, my friends, my neighbours, my blogger friends, my coworkers and my bosses, please, please, please, understand the disease or diseases you may have. Learn all the names and dosages of every medication you take. Do research. Understand contraindications and side effects. It seems like our doctors who we used to depend on one hundred percent are not in their own control. Tired of paying the overhead and competing against HMOs they have given into working for HMOs and are subject to their rules, one of which is the limit of time they can give us - the patients. So now it is up to us to take care of ourselves. See a specialist when you need to. That is where I made a mistake and it is not because I am ignorant but because for something as simple as Diabetes I thought that an Internist would have been sufficient. No hard feelings against my doctor. He has his hands full.
I am not a fan of alternative medicine and I will always depend on modern medicine. However a doctor of alternative medicine was telling on the television that a medicine that is used to treat diabetes is actually causing Pancreatitis. Now Diabetes has a lot to do with Pancreas, so, I did research on the medicine that I take for maintaining my blood sugar level. I read a lot of complaints against that medicine including the foggy feeling in the brain, forget fullness and irritability. I stopped taking my medicine last week and what do you know, all my symptoms are gone. My fasting sugar level is within the high normal numbers. My guess, since I had started going for really long walks my sugar was getting metabolised and the medicine was actually making my sugar level go to extreme low levels. That can cause a lot of different things. I am glad that I did the research. the thing is I am not supposed to stop medicine just like that.
"So, what do I do now?" I ask myself. According to my daughter I should see a specialist. As far as my own doctor, he is still good for my BP and my asthma - until something else comes up.

We will always love you

2011-09-24T19:04:00.000-07:00

People every where make a big deal about break through discoveries in medicine and technology. We also see on the news, stories about the world's politicians trying to solve war related problems. I wonder, how many times we as people and as parents and grand parents remember the people who have brought smiles to the faces of children all around the world. When it comes to kids' writers and people who have revolutionised kids' lives, I have almost given up on the television. Lives of rich and famous have taken precedence over the lives of simple but heart warming people. I will be surprised if Hollywood Stories would have time to narrate the lives of people who made our children laugh. One such person was Jim Henson. (Sept 24, 1936 to May 16, 1990) Hollywood Walk of Fame has honored both himself and Kermit the Frog (this privilege shared by only Walt Disney and Mickey Mouse and Mel Blanc and Woody Woodpecker and Bugs Bunny).

Kids who grew up watching Sesame Street are very responsible people holding important jobs and most of them are such good parents that they never cease to amaze me.

Out of the Darkness Walk

2011-09-23T17:04:00.000-07:00

This is going to be very hard for me to write. As much as I worry about getting forgetful and am afraid of the "A" word, sometimes I simply want to forget what happened in my second year of BA summer vacation.
A little over forty one years ago (June of 1970) my classmates and I received the horrible news that one of my friends had commited suicide. We were all very young and full of hope for our future and dreams about being educated and having it all. Then one very quite morning I got a call from my best friend that our other best friend had killed herself. She was engaged to be married a year later, after her graduation. She liked and cared for the young guy she was engaged to. Then what happened? Needless to say we were all devastated but the cause of her suicide was even more shocking. Something no one could ever think of. She was tired of her parents fighting with each other.

To this day whenever I hear news about anyone commiting suicide, I break down. How could they do this to themselves. Was life really that hard for them? Do family members and loved ones miss the signs they would not if they knew better? What can we do as human beings to save another human being from taking their own life? Do they even realize that suicide is so final? I have always wished that there were people who can educate people to watch out for signs. I guess my wish has come true. In our area ie the Hudson Valley people are organizing "Out Of the Darkness Walk". I hope that there are areas where they are doing this as well.
Here is the link to my daughter's fundraising page. Please check it out especially if there are growing children in your family or even adults with special concerns. We always grieve for our loved ones, but suicide is not like any other way of dying.

THUMBS UP

2011-09-15T16:46:00.000-07:00

Have you ever felt extremely angry in high school? I mean fumes coming out of ears angry ? A lot of us felt angry at some point or the other and a lot of us got over our anger and some of us did something wrong. I mean pressures of life itself start pressing our temples from Junior High onwards and and they keep giving us headaches going on to high school, well into college. So how exactly did the popular kids escape from things boiling inside them? To my shock I found out they really don't. A co worker of mine said that he was very popular in high school because his mother started him out as a very fashionable young man and he would wear nothing but designer clothes and as a result he got a great job in our company. At home, it was a different story. His mother got yelled at almost every month by his father for wasting money. When he interrupted, he was almost thrown out of their home by his father. Then there were kids who were so angry at jocks that they took steps to hurt all other kids along with jocks. They made the big news unfortunately. Also unfortunately, kids who do something good don't really make headlines too often.
Peekskill High School - just across Hudson River, made some rules that are not fair with students. Mike, our radio station host of Mike and Kacey said yesterday that a student wrote him a letter about an unfair rule their high school had made and some of the students are really angry about it and want to take their case to the board members. One of the students "J" ( we need to protect the kids ID) would like as many people as possible to know about the petition. He says that as angry as he is he rather take care of the problem through a petition. I called the radio station to check with Mike if it is OK for me to blog about this as more people might know about the petition. Also the reason I am writing this is the fact that as angry as the kids are they are going through the right means versus violence and vandalism.
Blogger friends from Peekskill School High School area can help out these kids by checking out the sitauation. Maybe the rule itself is not so bad after all and there could be misunderstanding on the kids part.

Back To School

2011-09-04T09:39:00.000-07:00

It was at the end of August last year that I had started writing my blog. My desire to write stemmed from my wish that my grandson who was entering Kinder Garden last year does good overall and has a good self image and a good level of self esteem. Hence "Project Sept". A lot of my friends thought that it was cute and some thought it was childish as the word "SEPT" was for Self Esteem Protection Team. This year my grandson goes to first grade and according to him, his two younger brothers will be looking up to him. Imagine being six and having your two year old brother and a two month old brother looking up to you.

A coworker of mine was complaining that men do not like her because she is heavy that in turn makes her go to comfort food which is not good for her. Then I suggested to her that she should not worry about men not liking her but try to eat right for her own sake. Later on at my last job, an other coworker who has low self esteem because of her weight asked me about the National Sport of India. I know that the state sport of Andhra Pradesh was "Kabadi". It was a different story that no one who was affluent would play that game. Rich people always played "Cricket". Then my coworker asked me if the PE department gave importance to Cricket alone. I was then very much surprised as our "PT" department in school had nothing to do with Cricket. They just gave us basic training in how to keep ourselves fit. She said that she wished they did that in American Schools. I then asked an other young girl about the corelation of self esteem with PE in schools.She said that PE has a lot to do with kids' self esteem.. She says that when she has children she will make it a point to tell the school that they better have physical education like the description and national sports can be an extra curricular item. This way all of the children will get equal attention in PE rather than only those who are good in National Sports.
I say we can start giving importance to general physical eductation right now. Those kids who are not fit can slowly become fit if not looked down upon.

Sunshine Amidst Storm

2011-08-30T16:52:00.000-07:00

I have to thank Lenny from Lenny's World for teaching me the real meaning of the word "Love". I know, I know, it's me, my simple self who will not hesitate to learn even from someone as young as Lenny will always find the kid to be an inspiration. Lenny quotes Winnie the Pooh "Some people care too much. I think it is love". So why am I hung up on the word "Love" ? Because in India, couples (I mean husband and wife) do not express love for each other in front of anyone, including their own kids (never mind Bollywood movies.) So when I was extremely concerned about my husband's health our doctor who happens to be from India found it to be amusing and somewhat westernised as he asked me if I grew up here. I very politely asked him to excuse me as I always have been the one to cross boundaries and step out of a box, any box including culture especially when it came to safety and well being of my family including my husband. He was quite but still had the smirk on his face. The good thing is that my husband's BP is finally normal and if I had not expressed my concern who knows how much longer it would take for him to feel healthy. I wish though, that he does not have to take extra two pills. Oh well.
Why have I not been writing? Our son from Hawaii was home from the day after the Earth Quake until the day after the storm. When you get a home full of sunshine when Hurricane Irene was uprooting even strong and age old trees who has time to write?

Taking Charge

2011-08-19T17:14:00.000-07:00

Before I forget :- I would like to thank everyone who reads my blog postings. My postings make me feel that I am able to connect people somehow.
Two months ago I was worried about losing my memory and a lot of people suggested that it could be because I have been overwhelmed with a lot of things happening at the same time. Then for sometime I have been free of that fear. I would like to remain free of fear. I am trying to ward off thoughts that enter my mind but somehow I keep getting those thoughts again and again and I notised that this happens at times when any of my family members did not get a clean bill of health. So everyone please take care of your health so somebody who loves you does not feel that they are losing it.

When you drive on 9W and pass Storm King Mountain and look down you feel the presence of the Creator of this Universe.
This is our Holy month and it has been said that whatever we ask for is granted provided it does not hurt us or anyone else. So when I am asking that my husband take charge of his health why doesn't it happen? How can his good health hurt others?
My parents always told us that our wishes may not come true right away, we just have to be patient . Today my daughter confirmed that. Her wish of seeing Cindy Lauper did not come true when she asked for it, but later on in life a friend took her to the concert for the Holidays.
So why am I being so impatient? It is the fear monster. My mother had a stroke when she was sixty-four and died four months later. I know high blood pressure is number one cause of stroke. My fears are not unreasonable. Also I would like our kids to be free of worries and concentrate on their jobs and enjoy their life as well.
So, please everyone take charge of your health. Listen to your doctors, eat right and exercise.
If you love your children take care of yourself so they can have a care free life and enjoy their youth.

LEFT IS COOL

2011-08-13T14:44:00.000-07:00

GREETINGS EVERY ONE
Today is International left handers day. August 13 was declared to be International left handers day in 1976 to create awareness of the difficulties left handed people face in the world that is mostly made of right handed people.
So, to all my loved ones, my friends, my neighbours, my blogger friends and my coworkers and bosses, I wish a Happy Left Handers Day. Please give yourselves a treat or give you left handed buddy a treat.

Creating Awareness

2011-08-07T18:26:00.000-07:00

"Say what you need to say." John Mayer was on the PA system in the mall this morning. It made me feel good because it felt like someone was on my side. I know, I know, they randomly play any song at all, but maybe I needed to hear it and that is why I felt good when they played it. When I write something, my intention is not to hurt anyone or any culture or tradtion but to let people know that those traditions hurt people more often than we would know. I really don't know how else I can fix things. As of now, all I know is that music makes a certain sea animal very happy. Enjoy !

Time has no effect?

2011-08-05T16:38:00.000-07:00

In 1972 my husband and I had a telephone in our home in England but my parents did not have one in India. Letter writing was the only communication my mother and me had. As I would finish writing a letter and fold the aerogram, I would cry for good two minutes as I wrote the address, Anand Nagar, Hyderabad, AP India. As beautiful and serene our neighbourhood was in dry times, it was just as messy whenever it rained. Our neighbourhood not only got it's share of rain, but also the rain that fell on Banjara Hills, would come right down. My parents would get so much rain on their front veranda, that it would become unusable. My parents would save up money to get an awning for the veranda but when they almost had enough there would be some unavoidable expense that would make them postpone getting the awning. So when I was able to earn money in England, I wanted to get them an awning for their veranda. Do you think they would accept that gift? Not in a million years. The reason? I am their female child and people in India do not take money or material gifts from their daughters. I remember all this because tomorrow will be ten years since we lost our mother. A lot of things start coming back in my mind, including the helplessness of being a female child. My parents were considered lucky, because they had four sons and two daughters. I am considered lucky because my husband and I have two sons and one daughter. Anyone who has no sons is still considered to have a hard life. Still people do not accept gifts from their daughter while they expect their male children to help them get out of debt that they incurred arranging for their daughter's wedding. Time passes, we learn to live with the fact that our loved ones are not around but it would be so much comforting to be able to remember that I was able to share their pain as my brothers were able to.
When my sister in law sends a gift to her mom, she gets a gift back from her mom, which would be twice as expensive. She tells me she feels helpless and wonders as to when our people will break this tradition.

Food

2011-08-01T16:46:00.000-07:00

Anand Nagar (Happiness Town) is the name of the neighbourhood where my house (my parents house) was, before I got married. My parents must have moved half a dozen times between the time I was born and the time when I went to Junior High. Although my father was an accountant he loved construction work. He would buy a house, renovate it and then sell it. My mother did not want to sell our house in Anand Nagar because it was a very pretty place, beautiful flowering plants and fruit trees, a huge prairie in the valley of Banjara Hills (now a lot of Bollywood Actors have built their vacation homes there). When we first moved there my parents friends and some of our relatives were worried for us because besides one more family, we were the only Muslims there. My father always believed that we need to be a good human being (maumin) before we can be a good Muslim. Being scared of other human beings (even though they are not from our faith) is not a good way of starting off as a good human being.
Today on the first day of Ramadan (we say Ramazan), I remember all of this because Ramadan is a month of sharing and caring, more than anything else. In this month we fast all through the day (sunrise to sunset), refrain from all kinds of pleasures and give charity. People who have health problems, travelers, pregnant mothers, nursing mothers and kids under fourteen years of age are exempted. We can opt to feed a meal a day to someone everytime we miss a day of fast when we are fourteen or older and have medical condition. My father did not fast becuase he would become lethargic and would be in danger of passing out if he did not eat every couple of hours. Today this condition is called hypoglycemia. Therefore my mother would give someone a meal a day, to take home and enjoy. That gentleman was not of our faith. In spite of a lot of criticism my mother did not care. Her answer would always be, "he is a human being first, then a believer in whatever faith he belongs to."

Good Television

2011-07-28T17:56:00.000-07:00

I just finished watching a rerun of the television show "Community". I watch it a lot and by now the characters are real for me. This happens to a lot of us so I am not embarrassed to admit it. The show is about some students who meet as a study group. They are a cross section of what a typical community college is. Every week there are a couple of issues that the group deals with. So coming back to tonight's episode I wish that there are actually real people as good as these students. The study group that makes a plan to save an overweight student from attempting suicide. They invite him to a game of Dungeons and Dragons and so he can feel good about himself. It turns out that - I'm not about to give away the ending. Here is a trailer.

Good Samaritans

2011-07-26T18:20:00.000-07:00

Exactly one week ago, four men took a chance with their life to pull out a woman from a vehicle that was burning. Palisades Parkway is like our backyard. We drive on it almost every day of the week. A lady who was driving an SUV on the Palisades had to steer away from driving on some kind of trash. Then she lost control of her vehicle. People who witnessed the accident said that the vehicle actually was four inches above the ground and then ran into woods and overturned and caught fire. From among the stranded traffic some people got down to see what was happening. Then four people got out of their cars and pulled out the lady who was driving before the police could get there. As soon as the men pulled out the lady, the SUV was a blaze. If those four men did not pull her out, she would have been burnt beyond recognition. I am hoping that those four men get rewarded somehow. I mean they took the risk of their life.They say in my country that the reward that comes from up above is much better than any human can give. My husband says that the feeling of being able to save a life is in itself a reward.
So why did I not blog about this incident sometimes last week. Could it be because I heard this only once on the radio?

Nice

2011-07-21T16:50:00.000-07:00

It is helping. I mean staying away from the television news. My brother sent these pictures to me. I would like to share them.

This is a beautiful bridge. If there are people in the world who are building such beautiful bridges, I guess the world is not such a bad place after all.

Acceptance

2011-07-20T17:48:00.000-07:00

I would like to thank Drora for taking me back to my childhood. I cannot leave a comment on her blog. Also I like to thank Hilary for taking me back to the two years I spent in England.
My husband tells me that I should be thankful that I can read and write. Also he tells me that trying to make this world a better place is an unrealistic goal. We taught our children good from bad and they should do that with their children and so on.
Also he thinks that too much shelter for me by my parents developed unrealistic expectations that bad people will somehow turn into good people. He says that greed, hate, and violence are as real as generosity, love, and peace. So just accept the facts and pray for the loved ones.
We have a six-year-old grandson who is ready for first grade and two grandsons even younger than him. There are hundreds of kids throughout America and the murder case of the eight year old is an isolated case but what if it is not?
I am sure my husband will be angry when he reads this because he wants me to stay away from the worries of the world for my own good. I promise though that I will not let this effect my memory. I am learning to compartmentalize and take notes. I am learning to accept that there are problems beyond my reach. I will pray that this world becomes a safe place for everyone's children and grandchildren.

Float On

2011-07-16T19:03:00.000-07:00

Last week my son and my daughter were having a lot of fun singing and playing guitar and drums on Wii on the television screen. Digitally animated boys and girls and back up singers and crowd were a lot of fun to watch. One of the bands was Modest Mouse. Since I pay a lot of attention to lyrics, I came to an understanding that their song "Float on " is actually about moving on after hearing a bad piece of news in the hope that good news will come across. I think that I am going to try to adopt that philosophy. It seems a little callous but maybe I am taking the fixing up of this world a little too much to my heart. I remember that someone had told me that too much empathy can be a concern for depression. Who knows, maybe too much empathy can be a concern for forgetfulness.
Earlier this week a middle aged business man committed suicide by jumping off of the Newburgh Beacon bridge. Also the same night a couple jumped together off of the Tappanzee Bridge. The girl died and the man is still in critical condition. As usual I did not feel like having my dinner. My husband then told me that a teen age boy was able to save a middle aged man from drowning. I guess "Float On" may work, I thought. Then the television news announced a heart breaking tragedy. An innocent eight year old was kidnapped and killed. His body was dismembered. I cannot imagine how his parents must feel. I don't know how I will be able to "Float On" now. There will have to be a very big piece of good news to take this tragedy out of my head.
Before I Forget:- I would like to thank everyone for their concern and support. I will do research and try things that people have suggested. I will also post as I try various things so my experiences can help others.

Counting On Positivity

2011-07-12T17:27:00.000-07:00

BEFORE I FORGET :-
I would like to remind my self that I have a great family, wonderful friends and wonderful blogger friends.
I would like to write blog entries about experiences I have been having with not remembering things. In case anyone who is reading my blog is having similar experiences, I would like to hear them as well.They could be people my age or have loved ones my age who are getting forgetful.

My last blog entry was two weeks ago. What happened to the two weeks? Thankfully I write that after coming back from Philadelphia I was talking non stop about the new baby and praising the new parents for their love and devotion for their kids. This would be during the day. At night I would worry about their well being outside their home, in school, and what the world would be like when they grow up. I don't know if the effect of being worried worked on my mind and I was getting forgetful or if it was my age. I then did a lot of research. The "A" word works on my mind like the word Monster works on kids' minds. Maybe I should just stop being afraid and things will be OK. I hope so. There are way too many nice things that I would like to put in a safe place in my mind. Just in case.Maybe I will write them down and keep reminding myself.

The beginning of this month was full of joy as I had a chance to visit my son in Hawaii. Last time we went there was in 2004. He made plans for me to go there. It was very soothing to be with him. He took us a lot of different places, including beautiful beaches, museums and botanical gardens. I was amazed at the number of plants I could recognize and name after so many years of studying them in college. I can never thank him enough.
The first evening I got to my son's place, he let me read the book, Eat, pray, love by Elizabeth Gilbert. I woke up at two thirty in the morning because of jet lag and wanted to continue to read the book. I could not remember the right name. The "nook" was not letting me go to my page as I had forgotten to book mark it. I kept on thinking and it seemed like my brain had two parts, one telling me that the name of the book was live love and pray and the other one was telling me that the book is love, travel and live. The right name was not coming in my mind at all. This is something that worried me. I know that Julia Roberts has worked in the movie based on the book and there is a lot of travelling. So was my mind able to relate and not remember? Has this happened to people out there?
On the way back I forgot my ID. I was in luck that the right people found it.
Today, I noticed that I have to ask my daughter the name of the person she is talking about, before she finished her sentence. Has this happened to anyone before?

Daddy Time

2011-06-24T17:20:00.000-07:00

I think that there should be a general rule that we should be allowed to wish Happy Father's Day (or Mother's Day) up to the following Sunday. There could be some scatter brains like mine who get overwhelmed and excited with every good news and get worried with every hurtful news and forget to wish people the due greetings and blessings. I have to say thanks to some of my blogger friends whose blogs reminded me that a message for Happy Father's Day is due. There are some terrific fathers that I know like my husband, my son, my brothers, my brothers-in-law, my boss, my boss's boss, some blogger friends, some blogger friend's husbands and some of my neighbours. So Happy Father's Day to all of you.

I remember some young people at work had hurtful memories of their fathers being tough with them. I am not sure what could have gone wrong, but a lot of times us parents copy the kind of parents we had. Sometimes that may not even be the case. So I do have a message for all the young fathers out there. The young dude that is standing in front of you is a toddler today but he is going to grow into a fine young man. His only needs (besides food, shelter and clothing) will be respect and approval. All of the material goods are secondary. In the process of providing the American dream please do not forget to look in those innocent eyes and say a nice comforting word. A lot of things need to be fixed in this world.When it comes to parenting each one of us is a work in progress.

GRAND MOTHER FOR THE THIRD TIME - - - -

2011-06-21T17:55:00.000-07:00

"BOY OH BOY" These words were written on one of the gift bags that I gave the new baby with cute outfits in it. I was in a hurry as the baby came a week earlier than expected, but boy is he cute. Everyone says that he looks like my husband (his grandpa) and my husband does not stop grinning at the comment that "he is cute and looks like his grandpa." The important thing is that he is normal and healthy. I am dying to show his pictures to everyone but our kids have a rule for not putting baby pictures on the internet. Oh well.
So, spending a week with a six year old and a two year old is out of this world but spending a week with a newborn is heavenly. It is also so charming to see my daughter-in-law wanting to do everything herself not only for the new baby but for her other two little ones and then checking on my son and me to see if we were all right. I then had to keep reminding her that she is the one who needs rest.
Times are changing. People are multi-tasking and that includes new parents. Families are living hundreds of miles apart. I came back home with a heavy heart. My son calls me and reassures me that everything is OK and Philadelphia is not far from New York. As of now I just close my eyes and be with the baby.

Dolphins need to be free, just like us

2011-06-09T15:21:00.000-07:00

I thought that only humans attempt suicide. I did not realize that sea or land animals would commit suicide. Here is a request from animal lovers for us to just sign a petition so lives of Dolphins can be saved. I need not write further as this will explain a lot.

http://www.avaaz.org/en/saddest_dolphins/?copy

My spelling IS Getting Better

2011-06-08T17:34:00.000-07:00

I have been afraid of the "A" word. They say that when some people come to my age they start losing their memory. Although I remember most of my math facts, I was beginning to get worried about my spellings and my grammar. I have been writing superlatives instead of just regular facts and some of the homonyms got mixed up in my mind. Now I have decided that I am going to love English. They say in my country that if you like anything to improve, you have to make an effort and actually love what you want to see improved. Therefore I am going to strive to get my spellings to be almost perfect and my typing skills to be better. This is because I want to write correct sentences when I visit and comment on Lenny Lee's blog. He has become my inspiration. Thanks Lenny!

Take Care Of Your Health

2011-06-06T17:36:00.000-07:00

If you are a universal donor, it is a blessing to so many people who need blood. I knew this fact for almost forever. One of my coworkers had told me that she had signed on the back of her license to be an organ donor. I was feeling bad for her. She is still very young. She was then only twenty-one. She laughed and said that she was a reckless driver anyway. I got mad at her and told her that she should drive carefully for her daughter's sake. Unfortunately her sister who was also very young died in an auto accident and then she realized the hard realities of life and started driving carefully. An other coworker told the both of us that we do not have to be dead to be of help. We can be living and still donate blood and maybe a kidney, or even bone marrow.
Today, I found out that an elementary school age girl needs a kidney. Her kidney function is down to twenty percent. At home I had the discussion with my husband about me giving a kidney to her because I have lived my life. To my dismay, my husband said that doctors, surgeons and even hospitals will not let me do that because I have multiple health problems and I can be more of a liability than help. What a bummer.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DRORA

2011-06-04T18:10:00.000-07:00

I would like to wish Drora Hed Happy Birthday. I am not able to leave even a Happy Birthday wish to her on her blog. I read Drora's blog all the time. I also admire the little pieces of miniature furniture she makes.

We Have Hope

2011-06-04T07:38:00.000-07:00

Almost everyone here in Orange County N.Y is effected by the tragic murder/suicide loss of a mother and three of her children. When we drive on the river side to go to Newburgh-Beacon bridge, we still get the goose bumps. I think that this will happen to us for a long time. The ten year old survivor of the tragedy is now holding pretty good, thanks to community efforts with time and money. A couple of days ago my husband happily told me that an NFL player has not only given him an undisclosed amount of money but is also mentoring him.
It is now up to the boy's father to help him cope with the tragedy and convince him to forgive his mother and move on. Most important he should talk to him as much as possible even from the jail.

THANK YOU and - Oops !

2011-06-02T19:11:00.000-07:00

I would like to thank some new people who are reading my blog. As you know blogger likes to play these games with us. It is now hiding the faces of "followers". I used to just go back to the people and thank them through email and follow their blog as well. Now I cannot do that as I don't know who the new friends are. So please allow me to thank you guys. I will just have to wait until the blogger shows pictures and gives me the links. I would love to read your blogs too, and follow them.
And oops, I got tagged. Thank you Michael. I will have to read all the things I have to write and think about people I would like to tag back. Also my wall paper is made of my grandsons. They are still babies. I am sorry I can not put them on the internet. I might put back the picture of a peacock,( my old wall paper) just for a couple of days so I can put that for answer to question number 2.
Blogging is getting to be more than just writing a diary that people can read. I like that.

Mommy Is Here

2011-05-31T16:44:00.000-07:00

I am sure all of us need a little something charming today.

THANK YOU

2011-05-29T12:18:00.000-07:00

I would like to thank Hilary from "Positive Letters " who guided me to enable my blog to be able to receive comments.
I would also like to thank everyone for being patient with my comment window. My daughter (thanks!thanks! thanks!) helped me get the comment window to open. I have had trouble leaving a comment on some of the great blogs. If you are not receiving comments you may need to set up a comment window on your blog. If you go on your "Settings" page of your blog and check on "open comment window" it sets up a comment window for you.
Have a Safe Memorial Day everyone.
Purple Heart Hall of fame is just around the bend from our home. West Point is just a hop, skip, and jump distance from 9W here. Tomorrow will be a very sober day for our town.

Correction

2011-05-27T16:17:00.000-07:00

In my blog yesterday, I did not mean to make a concrete statement about natural disasters. I meant to say that most of the natural disasters are not the fault of human beings. I was not clear as I was emotional. It is true that a lot of natural disasters could have been prevented if we did not disturb the natural rhythm by messing with nature. I have to thank one of the readers who pointed out this fact. I do not intend to show disrespect to my elders by blaming things on nature alone.

I understand that psychology is not a perfect science, but at the same time I think we can still strive to know our kids so we can do parenting the best we can.

Get to Know Your Kids - And Kids in Your Life

2011-05-26T16:26:00.000-07:00

Natural disasters, as nerve chilling and as devastating as they are, are not caused by human beings. Whenever lives are lost because of murders, suicides, or even an accident, we feel the hurt within our souls.
This morning news channels all over the television were saying that the suspect of the Arizona shooting from earlier this year is not fit for a trial because he is schizophrenic. His doctor says that he could see signs. I am wondering what kind of signs? Writings, or other kinds of behaviour or simply not being a young person he is? While I am not accusing anyone of not being close to their son, I am simply requesting every parent or every person who is supposed to be responsible for young people to keep a check on their kids. I do not mean that they should police them or not trust them. What I mean is that try and be close to your kids as much as possible. Trust them and allow them to trust you enough to open up and talk to you. If you find that they are somewhat sad or tense ask them in detail. Do not hesitate to take professional help if needed.
In the movie "Donnie Darko " a young man who is diagnosed with schizophrenia almost chuckles as he says "Ooo, me too," when his girlfriend tells him that her stepfather has emotional problems. He is not at all ashamed because he is getting treatment. The movie also touches other sensitive issues that effect young people and shows the sad side of society.

We need Hope - - - All of Us

2011-05-23T18:22:00.000-07:00

When we throw a tiny pebble in the calm and serene waters of Lake Taghkanic we enjoy the circular ripples of the water but we do not realize that the tiny fish and tadpoles under the water could be scared thinking that they are in for a storm. So, why do people scare people saying that the end of the world is near? I am not saying that I believed that it was happening. It got me thinking. I mean we all have to die one day and if we knew when exactly we are going to die, we probably pick out the ways we want to spend the rest of our days. So, on Saturday I was having a crisis with my memory. I do not see too many good actions in the mental video I had of my life. I mean common, the good things to do list that was meant for me to do by age twenty still is waiting to be finished. There are hardly any scratched out accomplishments and I am sixty. So where did the time go? and resources? First it is the car, then the house, then the furniture, then college funds for kids and now retirement. When do we really get a brake from ourselves that we can give time and energy to others? I guess, we just shouldn't wait. We should do the "helping others part" along with doing "the life chores part".
We have been listening to the news and watching the disaster in Missouri and wondering what their emotional condition must be. At this stage in our lives we cannot do much more than send a check and pray. I admire those people who go and give on hands help. I wanted to post a youtube video to share but I was not able to do that as the embed part was disabled. My husband says that they need hope and all of us need hope.
I will ask some young people in my family to post "We Care and Hope for Good" messages on their facebook pages.

Straight From The Heart Blogger Award

2011-05-21T12:29:00.000-07:00

Every one is talking about the world coming to an end today - they are not serious but what if it really happens? I do not want to leave this world before I offer this "Award" to some awesome people. Every one is good in their own way. Some of us write what people like to read, some of us write about celebs and national sports and what is going on in the political world, but some people are so open that I sometimes wonder as to why they are not journalists? Or are they?

Belle for Tales from a loser who sometimes is a winner.
Michael for SCL Kismet
Tracy for My Thoughtful Spot
Foot Print Of Peace for Step Parents Cove
Doris for Hold My Hand
Hilary for Positive Letters
Monalisa for MonaLisa Gone Wild
NormaltoeatPB for Normal to Eat Peanut Butter

There are no rules attached to receive this award. I hope this came out OK.

Serenity Prayer

2011-05-16T15:59:00.000-07:00

I know that AA uses this prayer. However I have a slot in my brain where this prayer fits just so.

My desire to be productive and to help this place called earth to be a good place for everyone makes me say things that might offend people.

Loved ones are offended because they think that it was not my place to blog about a stranger who yelled at his son. They say that I do not know the complexities of being a father, the hardships that fathers go through at work and the troubles they go through to make a buck. Once in a while it does happen that they take their frustrations out at their kids.
I would not know the complexities of being a father, this is true. It is also true that a father may be frustrated and take the anger out on a child. A lot of us mothers have taken out our frustrations on kids and I am sure they are still doing that. I am not denying that I could have done it without realizing it. My point is that let us try not to hurt our kids because they are going through hard times anyway. If we do not admit our wrong doings and change ourselves, where is this world going to go?
I know that about myself and unpleasant times with my kids I can only say "If I could turn back time." (God Bless Cher)

Mother's Day -- Not just for Mothers

2011-05-15T15:00:00.000-07:00

While reminiscing about my grandmother's house and my parents' house I recall being told not to do silly things, like reaching in the chicken coop and picking a chick then getting pecked. I know that for every little thing, we would go to my grandma and she always had nice words for us. Now, I do not remember if I was told that I was silly or stupid, or if it were my actions that were called stupid because it is an entirely different language, you know Hindi. I do not feel being hurt because we got the comfort right away.
However, when I moved to the US I realized that it is not nice to call kids names or make them feel bad when they are already feeling bad for their actions. I also noticed that a lot of couples live with little kids without their grandparents. So the family setup was different. My kids got the same setup as well. I came to understand that my kids are my world. Then I became very careful about scolding and getting mad at kids because who would they go to if parents get mad at them? So to me, being a mother was being a friend to my kids. Now do friends call their friends stupid? I don't think so.
Last Sunday, my son took his five year old and two year old kids and us to the zoo so my daughter-in-law could get some rest. It was a great gift. My two year old grandson fell asleep so I sat on a bench with him in my arms and everyone else walked around. I was watching people go by. There were kids getting their faces painted. I was having fun. Then I heard a man scolding his son. "How can you be so stupid? I just paid five dollars for that and you're messing up your face paint?"
The poor boy must have been hardly seven. He just started crying. His mother did not say anything, you know parents having uniformity in discipline and all. I felt like going and giving the little boy a hug. They just walked away and I had the baby in my arms. I was just thankful that my five year old grandson did not have to see that. It got me thinking, if Mother's day is just about a mother? I don't mean to make a big deal but times are changing. Kids are having it harder, so please don't hurt a kid's self-esteem.

A Very Special Mother

2011-05-11T16:53:00.000-07:00

Last month when we went to check what is new in Mac and PC at the computer place in Palisades Shopping Center, a very nice salesgirl came up to ask us if we needed any help. My husband and me were just browsing so we let her know that. Then we just started having a loose talk with her, as she was very pleasant. She was studying nursing and was working to get some spending money. She said that her parents are from Haiti and they worked really hard to give her a good life and good education so the least she can do is not ask them for spending money. Then both my husband and me said at the same time that we hope there was no one from her family that got hurt in the disaster. To our dismay she said that a couple of her distant relatives lost their loved ones and that is what gave her the desire to be a nurse. She also said that being a nurse will actually give her the capacity to work with people who get hurt. She would not be satisfied just by sending money. She said that a lot of people in Rockland County, New York lost their loved ones in Haiti. Then she asked us if we have time to listen to how special a young mother was. We said that we did and she told us how the roofs and walls and doors were falling everywhere even as people were trying to come out of their houses. Sometimes the door would just get blocked by fallen debris and people would just get entrapped. So when a door collapsed and closed up the way out of a building a mother just hugged her five year old and doubled up her body over him. When the roof started falling she was the one to get a big heavy beam on her head and started bleeding. Later on when the rescue teams came, they found the little boy under his dead mother. He was alive. Hurt but alive.

Happy Mother's Day !

2011-05-08T17:32:00.000-07:00

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY

Happy Mother's Day to every mother.

May God Bless All

Thanks again Doris

2011-05-06T17:41:00.000-07:00

I am sorry I took so long to complete following the Rules of the KREATIV Blogger Award.

So, here are five facts about myself.
I have a great family.
I am an aries.
My favourite colour is pink.
My favourite movie is March of the Penguins
My favourite authors are Beverly Cleary, Judy Blume, Roald Dahl, Dr.Suess. (They got my kids into reading). Don't get me wrong, I still like my grown up book's writers. It is just that my mind has become child like.
Oops, did I write too much? Oh well.

Now these are the people I would like to pass this award on to, for their beautiful Blogs.

Vanilla Mama for Vanilla Mama's Stuff.

Ann for Ink pots and Quill

Inger the Canyon Girl for Desert Canyon Girl

Hope for Poetry by Hope

Grand Snyder for Incidental Comics

Lyndsey Lydecker for Something Clever

If I am allowed to give this award a second time I would have liked to give it to :
Hillary for Positive Letters.

Thanks every one for sharing your work and thanks again Doris.

Appreciation Day

2011-05-06T16:37:00.000-07:00

My husband is (somewhat) listening to the doctor's orders.
My daughter comes and checks the windows for drafts if she hears me cough even in the middle of the night.
Both my sons sent me beautiful flowers for Mother's Day.
We might be able to see our grand kids on Sunday.
Today is also Appreciate A Nurse Day. I appreciate all of the nurses that took care of all my family members, took care of me when I had my three babies (now adults) and are taking care of patients as we speak. Nurses are there when a life comes in this world. Nurses are there when you are hurt or ill in spite of the dangers of contagious diseases and they work all kinds of hours, weekends and holidays. So I salute and appreciate a NURSE.
Today is also Appreciate an Army Spouse Day. My brother is a retired US Navy chief. I know before he retired, my sister-in-law went through a lot of hard times (especially with her two girls when they were little) whenever he was sent away to another country.We live not too far from West Point and I have spoken to a couple of women who are married to men in the army. They say it is not easy, but they respect what their husbands do. So I appreciate an army spouse.

Thanks Doris!

2011-04-30T16:32:00.000-07:00

Thank you for this award. I hope I will live up to it.

A To Z Challenge

2011-04-30T07:21:00.000-07:00

A Tribute to the letter "Z"

This is also a tribute to my parents who believed in eating just enough to survive while enjoying every bite of their meal. It was very hard for my mom to cook to the standards of my father's taste as he knew about the finest cuisine you could find in India. Being an accountant for the kitchen of the King of Hyderabad before India became a democracy introduced my father to not only the fine cuisine of India but to that of Great Britain, the Middle East and the Far East (as they then called it). So, after losing his job after India became a democracy my father worked for the government of India, but still had the taste buds of the royal kitchen. He did grow herbs and vegetables for my mom and always said that one does not need the heavy taste of grease but the "ZEST" of fresh herbs and vegetables. These are the pointers I will always remember.

Use lemon juice instead of heavy dressings on your salad. (I miss the spoons that my uncle had with the name of salad dressing engraved on their handles.)

Saute your food to bring out the zest. It is better then than frying.

When it comes to vegetables fresh does it better than cooked.

Don't drain the nutrients out by boiling. Try steaming if you have to cook vegetables.

Keeping a mix of lemon crystals and salt is better than just table salt. (Here in the US we keep garlic salt.)

Yogurt is always better than ice cream. ( My mom made home made yogurt every day but I would go for my father's home made ice cream any day. It was only occasional though.)

My daughter orders unsweetened ice tea with a slice of lemon instead of soda and it smells great. I use any excuse to drink cola while eating out as we don't buy it in grocery any more.

"Zest is something anyone can afford, but you have to be lucky to recognise it," my grandmother's best friend said when I was little. I think she was right.

A to Z Challenge

2011-04-29T16:18:00.000-07:00

A Tribute to the letter "Y"

Last night on the TV show "Community," Pierce, the elderly student, wants to learn things that younger people do. I think a lot of us elderly folks do want to learn things that young people do, because a lot of times young people do neat things, or rather cool things. Some of my friends and relatives who are my age complain that young people don't care for the elderly, they don't show enough respect. I disagree with them. I never had a problem with younger generation. If you leave them alone they are fine. The thing with respect is that you have to show respect first before you expect any from anybody.
The show "Community" is carried by young people who I can say fall into "Generation Y." They work hard. They mind their own business and their perspective is different because they don't stick to any one culture or one stream of thinking. They like to be open minded and like to take good from everywhere, hence they may become friends with someone you would not guess they would hang out with.
From being individualistic, tech savvy, ambitious, and flexible, Gen Y-ers are good in balancing money and time at the same time not neglecting values. The Millennials may take their time and seem cold, but any responsibility they take they do their best to fulfill. They could never be apathetic. No wonder the three young actors who play Annie, Abed, and Troy carry the show.
Today my husband woke up before five in the morning to watch the Royal Wedding. However he was puzzled to have missed the word "obey" from the wedding wows. He was surprised when I told him that Kate Middleton did not want the word "obey". He asked why. I said that she is "Gen Y". She would not utter something if she did not believe .
One character that will always come in the picture when you speak of Generation Y will be Jaye Tyler on Wonderfalls. There is even an episode where she is referred to as quintessential Gen Y-er.

A to Z Challenge

2011-04-28T16:39:00.000-07:00

A Tribute to the letter "X"
On his late night show, Conan O'Brien was teasing David Duchovny, saying that in the year 2000, David Duchovny will be extremely unpopular when it's revealed that Duchovny is Russian for syphilis. David Duchovny replied that in the year 2000, Conan O'Brien will be unpopular when it's revealed that he has a bad case of Duchovny. I'm not worried about what ever happened to the carrier of David Duchovny because Gillian Anderson has also disappeared from the television and the silver screen.
The later episodes of the X-Files series may not be as interesting as a thriller, but the older series would keep you engaged throughout the show. These are the shows about two FBI agents who are given assignments to solve cases that had unreasonable circumstances. One of them would try and find reasonable answers within normal reasoning but the other one would always find something supernatural and beyond reasoning. If you are into paranormal phenomenon and the supernatural you would certainly enjoy the earlier episodes of the X-Files.

A to Z Challenge

2011-04-27T18:16:00.000-07:00

A Tribute to the letter "W"

We - one of the sweetest words.
We - a beautiful term.
We - a wonderful relationship.
(No disrespect for the dictionary definition intended)
Among most of the struggles we go through in life, the struggles for the desire to be part of a "We" is most justified.
If you are looking to be part of a "We" in future - Plans, Dreams, Hopes, Flights, Wings, Skies, Breeze, Shore, Voyage, Horizons.
If you are part of a "We" at present - Care, Outreach, Respect, Shelter, Shade, Laugh Whirlpool, Frustrations, Whistles, Gasping, Lullabies.
If you have been a part of a "We" in the past but not anymore - Dialogue, Monologue, Pain, Empathy, Sarcasm, Shadows, Loneliness, Smiles (bittersweet), Memories accompanied with sweet and sour chuckles, Storms, Hurricanes.
In "Rolling in the Deep," Adele captures the pain of the "We" in the past better than any artist I have heard. She makes it sound almost victorious while keeping it dignified.
"We almost had it all!!"
"We could have had it all!!"
Here is Adele.

A to Z Challenge

2011-04-26T18:32:00.000-07:00

A tribute to the letter " V "
In second grade Nature Study class we were told that Brinjal (a kind of eggplant) was a fruit. When I told this to our nanny, she accused my school of teaching us wrong things because we know that eggplants are vegetables. When my mom came back from work she explained to all of us that there is a plant science called Botany and according to that science there are different parts of a plant. Therefore a vegetable can fall under the group of fruits if it is carrying seeds or it can be a leaf, a stem, root or even seeds. Growing up in a home where we grew our own vegetables was taken for granted in most families. Here in New York we feel lucky when we have the right weather for even a few vegetables a year. I try to buy local as much as possible.

Whether you grow your own vegetables or buy from a super market or farm market, please make it a habit to serve your familiy at least four fruits or vegetables a day.

A to Z Challenge

2011-04-25T18:16:00.000-07:00

A Tribute the letter "U"

I realized today that hiding table salt from your husband is very, very tiring. So today he can have a few sprinkles. From tomorrow he will be back to low salt. Until then I need some fluff. This is my fluff.

I am sure a lot of us agree that being a mermaid would be very cool indeed. Kids and kids at heart alike!

HAPPY EASTER

2011-04-24T12:15:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter everyone :)

A to Z Challenge

2011-04-24T06:57:00.000-07:00

A Tribute to the letter "T"

I was supposed to have written a blog in honor of the letter "T" but I was so run down that I could not get up from the living room floor. Sometimes Saturdays can do that to you. You just need to "veg" out. I did and now I feel like I failed at the A to Z Challenge. Oh well, we cannot be successful at every thing :(
I think that I can blame my tiredness to some degree on having to deal with traffic these days.

On Friday someone wrote a comment (on someone else's blog) that they had a beer while driving. At first I was a little angry, then I said to myself that at least that person is responsible enough to realize that he was guilty of having a beer while driving. How many drivers are out there, who drink and drive and not realize it? How many more drivers are out there who have four cups of coffee or soft drinks that have caffeine equal to four cups of caffeine? Combine the coffee and the fear of not getting to work on time, you have drivers who refuse to take their foot off of the gas pedal and if there is a slow car in front of them, they swirl around it in the same speed. If there is not enough room for them to swirl or swing around the slow car, then there is a crash. Then that driver along with at least thirty to forty cars behind them, is stranded, if not badly hurt. Thank God for seatbelts and airbags, the number of traffic deaths have decreased. Still I think an accident is a waste of resources and time that is if everyone comes out of their cars safe and sound.

My daughter loves this poem, that I wrote while being stranded in a traffic jam.

Highway Wreath

Policemen, Firemen and paramedics
They were all on their toes
Trying to save whoever it was
Trying their best, God only knows
Teenage driver, a tired mother
or even a second shifter
Is that her or is that him
A DWI or a drifter
Everyone was going frantic
Trying to pull the wounded out
Calling the local hospitals
the nearest ones about
Half a mile traffic back up
Now becoming a mile or two
Tired travellers getting more tired
Not knowing what to do
People wondering what happened
Was it a blind spot
Or was it the brake, the speed
Or a tire that was shot
I was sitting counting my sins
Patiently at the wheel
There are enough broken hearts
Enough pain we had to feel
Oh, Dear God, please spare
The paramedics the pain
Of having to pick up that phone
And tell that it was in vain.

A to Z Challenge

2011-04-22T18:10:00.000-07:00

A Tribute to the letter "S"

When a coworker of mine became a member of "CHAMPS" (changing human attitude, making people safer) she was very much excited. She told me to wish her the best, and I did. An other coworker who happened to be next to us said, "Why do you need anyone's wishes, you are suppose to do the job yourself?" To that my manager very angrily said, "Don't be mean, respect her sentiments." At that point in my life, I did not understand the word sentiment being used in that sense. Now I am learning. English is a beautiful language, but when it is not your mother tongue, you sometimes get confused.
Today is Good Friday and Earth Day. So today I was extra patient when drivers where tailgating me and overtaking me from the ramp on my right and zooming by. Also, when we went to the supermarket my daughter reminded me that it is Earth Day and we should bring our reusable bags to save plastic. I think I am beginning to understand the word sentiment.
I am feeling really bad about the fact that Jerry Seinfeld refused to appear on an event that Donald Trump's son had planned for raising money for St. Jude's. The reason being that Donald Trump was making fun of our President's political policies. I heard that St. Jude's does not refuse to treat any kid who goes there for treatment. Doesn't this make you feel sorry for children? It is bad enough that sometimes kids have to suffer because of parent's separation or divorce, but Donald Trump and Jerry Seinfeld? I hope nothing like this happens when they raise money to support Maria Ferrari hospital, here in New York.

A to Z Challenge

2011-04-21T16:34:00.000-07:00

A Tribute to the letter "R"

Universities and Money - all the time.
Universites and nepotism - most of the time.
Universities and brilliant but poor kids - seldom.
Our humanitarian side gets hurt, but our business side says "well - the expenses that universities have to go through can justify the cost."
Wait, what? Expenses like paying Snooky tens of thousands of dollars so she can give a speech about how hard students should study and how much harder students should party?
While Rutgers could have saved the same money and could give a break in the cost of books for students or wave the fee for labs etc, I am just hoping that Rutgers was able to make money somehow from this attempt of pleasing students by inviting someone from Jersey Shore.
Hope and ambition should not be taken away from any kid no matter how expensive university costs get. So let us all encourage kids and grown ups to learn to read. I know some of my friends don't like it when I push them to read even the headlines of a newspaper, I am not backing off promoting literacy.

Words

You want to make a difference
In how things are going on
You want to make it happen
Before the day is done

You are really feeling helpless
You feel that it is too late
You don't want to learn to read now
You think it is your fate

It's not your fate not to learn
Or not to find out for sure
So believe me. because I am not lying
This is how you can cure

Cure the problems the best you can
Before they become a pain
In reading there will be no loss
There will always be a gain

You are afraid people may think
That you do not have a friend
If you read in a public place
A book from end to end

The flow of language that you understand
Has no equal or substitute
So read, that a writer or a poet
Appreciates your gratitude

Munir
June 2005

A to Z Challenge

2011-04-20T17:09:00.000-07:00

A Tribute to the letter "Q"

While writing a comment on someones post, I mentioned that I am guilty of picking up a book and not finishing it. I forgot to mention that there were a couple of exceptions to that habit of mine. There are some authors who are so good that you want to finish their books even if it means getting to the dinner table late, or staying past your bedtime (when you were a kid) or using your entire lunch break at work. One such author is Beverly Cleary. Wow, does she ever write great kids and young adult books. I would read all my kids' Beverly Cleary books as soon as they would finish them. Among all of the characters of all of her books, the one I really love (and I am sure a lot of people I know do as well) is Ramona Quimby.
How I wish I could put a pair of eyes and a pair of ears to the letter Q, because that is what Ramona likes to do. The imagination that Beverly Cleary has to be able to create a character like Ramona Quimby is extraordinary. Ramona is so realistic that you can actually imagine her to be a real little girl. What am I saying? To me Ramona is real. I cannot have it any other way. I mean, when she actually gets in trouble for playing with an other girl's hair because she is fascinated by the way it bounces "Boing Boing", and the way she thinks that "Guts" is a bad word and says it to get her anger out of her system. It is amazing how she worries about her father's smoking and writes "NO SMO KING" everywhere. It is very touching when she gets worried that her parents might get divorced because their dinner was not ready because someone forgot to plug the slow cooker. There are too many cute little things to mention. So if you or your kids have not read these books, please do yourselves a favour and pick a couple from your local library. They will enjoy them and so will you.
They made a motion picture of these books combined. The movie is called "Ramona and Beezus". The books are a little different from the movie in the sense that they took a few incidences from each book and made that into a movie. It was fine, as Mrs Cleary, who is in her nineties, approved that. She enjoyed talking about the books and the movie.
Joey King, did a marvelous job of playing "Ramona Quimby" and even at this early age she is a terrific human being. She does a lot of volunteering.

A to Z Challenge

2011-04-19T16:48:00.000-07:00

A Tribute to the letter "P"

It was last day of the week before Father's Day and all the ladies were wishing the men, "Happy Father's Day" and some of us were telling each other to enjoy Father's Day with loved ones. I turned to one of the guys, around the same age as my son and asked if he had planned out what he and his siblings are doing for Father's Day. To my disappointment he said that he was not talking to his father. I was shocked, because he seemed like a young man who was raised with a lot of love. One more year and he would be out of community college then he would go to a SUNY school nearby. I asked him what he was talking about. Then he told me that his father was angry at him for working an odd job and not going to college. It turned out that he had started working right out of high school and his father wanted him to go to college, finish off studies and then get a "white collar job" if not a career. So, this was the reason this young man was not talking to his father?
He said that that was not the only reason. His father was accusing him of wasting time with hoodlums and gangsters etc, when all he was doing was working hard so he could be independent and save up some money. He called him names that he was too embarrassed to talk about.
I then came to a conclusion: it is best to avoid accusatory language, when talking to kids about any issues. Also avoid calling names.
Then I convinced him to give his father a call, and tell him that he was heading for some kind of decent job. He is not going to offload trailers for ever. Last time I spoke to him, he said that he was going to North Carolina to spend his vacation with his father. This was great.

The I realized that while talking to your kids about anything, it is best to start with facts and not judgment. Also never call them names or label them.

I come across a lot of kids who are not happy with their parents and sometimes I wonder whether my kids are happy with my husband and me or not. Kids are open for some reason, with outsiders and can talk to them. Friends can be of any age. So I hope that if anything is bothering my kids about my husband and me, they would talk to their friends. Ease up a little then talk to me. So far they seem happy (Thank God!)

From a conversation I had with yet another young man, I gathered that as parents, we not only have the responsibilities of providing food, shelter and clothing for them, we have an unspoken relationship of friendship as well. That young man had a fight with his dad, over bad manners at the dinner table. He said that his father always demanded a lot of respect and gave none.

I think it is best to set a positive tone. Show respect and respect will be given to you.

A to Z Challenge

2011-04-18T16:41:00.000-07:00

A tribute to the letter "O"

Marguerite,the process coordinator at the beauty shop always used to call me a pessimist. She said that I always look for sad things, things that are discouraging and people who suffer. I always used to tell her that I do not do that on purpose. It is just that when someone is sad, I cannot laugh and joke and believe that I did not see that person. I am not looking for discouraging things, but I cannot close my eyes when disturbing things happen. That does not make me a pessimist. It makes me a realist. Then I started doubting myself. Will I ever be an Optimist? So, I decided that I will become an optimist. Whether I notice more sad things than things that one can enjoy, or whether I give attention to underdogs, my point from now on will be not only to make a sad person feel better, but give them hope. I started with one of my coworkers who always used to put herself down and thought that she could not get (in spite of working hard) what her sister can get without even trying because she was pretty. So I wrote her a poem.

Go getter

Don't rob yourself of happiness
Don't be upset at every thing
In this ever changing world
Take with a smile what life can bring

With eyebrows up and a frowning face
With fire in your eyes
Don't hide your smile in attitude
Don't trade the truth with lies

Hardships may seem like a trap
But you are not there to stay
Look around and you will find
A sure promising way

And when you come out of this trap
And learn to fight your way out
Then may be you can help some one
Smile and clear their doubt

I have to thank Marguerite, who made me think and then decide that I will not stop just at looking at sad situation, but help people get out of there.

A to Z Challenge

2011-04-16T15:32:00.000-07:00

A Tribute to the letter N

This afternoon, we were listening to the radio and "Circle of Life" was playing. My husband said that the voice sounded very familiar and like it was a well known artist. I didn't know who it was. Then my daughter said that it was Elton John. She said that if it's Circle of Life, it has to be Elton John. To me the term circle of life brings back memories of my father working in our backyard and talking to the man who delivered the dirt and the mulch and discussing the circle of life. They would discuss how nature works, how every year they plant vegetable plants and vines and every year the same plants start becoming part of earth and dirt. I always used to get upset over all that.
In Sunday school we learned that nature is a servant of man (human beings.) I felt sad about the fact that nature has to be our servant. Then I was told by a friend of my grandmother that sometimes Sunday school teachers do not know how to best teach the realities of life. She always used to help me with solving mind boggling issues. I loved plants and flowers and fruits and vegetables hanging from the plants. I could not imagine them to be our servants. So when I was told that we are just as much servants and caretakers of nature as it is of us, it made me feel better. It made my mom feel better too.There was only fifteen years of an age difference between my mom and me. So the talk would be for both of us.
In college, in our Botany lecture we were told that "Nature in its ministry to man is not only the material, but is also the process and the result." We generally would jot down things and elaborate. I had a lot of help with that. My parents, my grandmother and our housekeeper taught me about how water evaporates from the seas and falls back on the Earth as rain, how plants use the rainwater and sometime the same rain would travel in clouds to distant lands and fall off as snow. It was hard to believe but I see it here in New York every winter.
My thirst of wanting to learn about Nature will probably be in me until my last breath. Today I read nature blogs, (Especially Desert Canyon Living), and thanks to the internet, I learn and enjoy so much. We did get the National Geographic for sometime but when we got to see the same people who work for the magazine presenting shows on the television we stopped buying the magazine.
Some old fashioned apothecaries say that the healing powers of nature are only limited by man's idleness. My mom told us that meditation is a natural way of healing and repairing our body's wear and tear. Appreciating nature is a way of meditation. Baby animals, flowers, seagulls, oceans, birds flying in an order, mountains - the sources are unlimited. She said that it gives our mind a break as well.
I like to listen to what William Wordsworth said "Let Nature be your teacher."

A to Z Challenge

2011-04-15T18:28:00.000-07:00

A Tribute to the letter M

A couple of weeks ago, my brother told me that his daughter is planning to be a CPA. I could hear the pride in his voice. His daughter was going to follow the foot steps of her grandfather. "I am happy for her " I said.
"Who would have thought," he said. " I mean being a girl, you would think that she would be interested in liberal arts and stuff." He was just getting carried away.
"You would have thought that," I said "Not me." Then I quickly realized that this can unnecessarily take away my niece's thunder, so I said "Give her my love and congratulate her, I will give her a call too." I did not argue with my brother for just assuming that because his child is a girl, she would not be good in Math. My daughter told me how Danica McKellar is so good in math that she actually wrote books on the subject.This was such a great news for me. Such a dainty little girl a math wiz? Sure enough. Her books are in the list of New York Times Best Sellers for Kids books.
She happens to be the author of Math doesn't suck, Kiss my Math, and Hot X Algebra Exposed. Who would have thought - oops, I was just about to make the same mistake that my brother made, assuming that girls are not good in math. She is so good that she and another of her fellow students along with their professor Lincoln Chayes wrote a theorem - the Chayes-McKellar-Winn Theorem (Winn for Brady Winn not Winnie Cooper).
She said that she wrote those books to help girls survive math without losing your mind or breaking nails. She said that she wrote Math doesn't suck for junior high girls, to show them that math is accessible and relevant and even little glamorous. It was to counteract the damaging social message telling young girls that math and science aren't for girls.

A to Z Challenge

2011-04-14T14:34:00.000-07:00

A Tribute to the letter L

Whenever I ask myself "What is Love?" I just start laughing. It has been several years since Chris Kattan and Will Ferrell danced to that song on Saturday Night Live. Before that I used to love that song. (I still like it.) When I worked as a clerk, I would open the office, turn the radio on, then go and clean up the waiting room, and this song came on. In those days, I was too busy as a wife, a mom and a part time receptionist to think about things like love.
Ever since I remember, love was just love to me. You love your parents, your siblings, your grandparents and when you got married you love your husband and your children. Then a co-worker told me that women probably love their husbands more than their husbands love them. Now that thought had never occurred to me before. I still try to understand what she meant. I know I am more vocal and expressive and my husband is not. That does not mean that what she said was true. I asked my mom once. She said that if that thought occurred in my head, then I love him less than he loves me, because love does not mean that you worry about yourself being loved. I think she was right.
Webster's dictionary describes love as a deep affection or passion for someone or something. I think that there has to be a strong personal attachment, otherwise why would emotions like kindness and compassion be part of love? That is why we love babies, children and the rest of the occupants of this earth whether they be human beings or animals, birds and other creatures.
Then there is love that we see in the movies. Part of me wants to go back to my teenage years and think of love that two pre-teens find for each other. The love where there are no complications, no competitions, no doubt that the other one loves you. It may be short lived for them, but it is cute.

A to Z Challenge

2011-04-13T16:39:00.000-07:00

A Tribute to the letter K

Kids - how do we define them ?
Someone said about a five year old, "He's not a baby, he is a kid!"
Someone said about a thirteen year old, "She's not a kid, she is a teenager."
To me the only definition of a kid or rather kids is "my children and everybody else's children." OK I took that a little too far. To me a kid is a child, from infancy to adulthood, ie twenty-one. Even that feels very uncomfortable because my mom and my grandma thought of me as a kid even when I was in my forties and had three kids. My husband thinks that that was because they never lost the instinct of motherhood. Do fathers and grandfathers get the same feelings about their grown-up kids? I wouldn't know.

Right now, I am writing about kids that are anywhere from infancy to teenage years especially those under your care.

Here are some of my feelings:

They just need your care
Don't hurt them because you hurt
That wouldn't be fair

Just let them explain
Just talk to them lovingly
Try and share their pain

They are really keen
Don't rob them of their chances
Kids are never mean

Just talk and listen
You may be saving a life
Give them attention

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Early this morning there was a very sad news report about Orange County, NY. "Horrible Tragedy in the Hudson River," they said. In the city of Newburgh less than ten miles from our town, a mother of four children drowned herself along with three of her kids. It is one of the saddest things I had to watch on television. It brings back other news flashes from across the nation. It is especially sad that those mothers had to resort to suicide/murder, why couldn't they talk to someone?

A to Z Challenge

2011-04-12T16:05:00.000-07:00

A Tribute to the letter J

Jasmine
My mother loved this poem and my father loved plants. So, he built a trellis and grew a Jasmine vine on it. Jasmine flowers have to be plucked in half bloom because their calyx is too delicate to hold the flower and falls off when the flower is in full bloom. We used to pluck a basket full of buds every summer evening unless it rained. Then there would be mess on the ground.

This is also a tribute to my parents. This is the translation of a very famous Indian Poem.

In the Shade of Jasmine Trellis
two love birds in the light of the moon
like two free spirits, ready to fly,
like fresh flowers, in the afternoon

The cool breeze of the garden
was gently blowing by,
then stopped and rested on
their faces and took a deep sigh

We have seen those two birds
seen them day and night
We have seen them together
during peace time and fights

Is there a mix to cure the pain
Oh, apothecary please do tell
'cause surely the other will fall
if one got hurt and fell

The minarets of mosques have seen them
The bells of churches have seen them,
The tall walls of temples have seen them

This poem is cherished by interfaith and inter racial couple who go through hard times because of society.

A to Z Challenge

2011-04-11T16:53:00.000-07:00

A Tribute to the letter I

Issues and Ice Cream

Last night when I told my daughter that I would like to blog about Ice Cream for the letter I, she seemed very excited. "I wonder who invented Ice Cream?" I asked.
"Someone awesome," she said happily.
I am sure it must have been someone really really nice to come up with some thing like ice cream. Whether it was Marco Polo who brought the formula from somewhere around the world or it were people from Europe in 1600, or the people who commercialized ice cream in the mid-1800s, they must have been people who wanted to make people happy. There is nothing but goodness in ice cream. I mean look at the ingredients - - - like Breyers Ice Cream always advertises, milk, sugar, ice, and sometimes fruit. At least I grew up eating ice cream like that and we didn't even have a refrigerator . I still can taste the ice cream my father made in the old fashion clunky ice cream maker, the ice cream we couldn't wait for and the ice cream we watched being formed (milk slowly turning into creamy sweetness.) I would trade the store bought ice cream box of half gallon anytime for the ice cream we had as children. That made everyone happy, whether they were kids or kids at heart.

So, next time the people in the House or the Senate are fixated on a problem, they should take a break, have a scoop or two of their favourite flavour of ice cream, then maybe we will not have to be on our toes about the government getting shut down.

My daughter thinks if the world leaders were to have ice cream , there probably would be no wars.

I think that if people had ice cream instead of coffee every morning before they go to work, they will be easy on fellow drivers on their way.

As for now, I think, you can take your little one for an ice cream cone, if his big brother is teasing him.

A to Z Challenge

2011-04-09T14:28:00.000-07:00

A tribute to the letter H

Back in 1997 when I was working in retail, the manager for home fashions department would always show us nice pieces of "name brand curios" and then very nicely ask for our suggestions. I used to work for ladies coats department therefore I could only give suggestions but not really decorate his department. One day we opened up a box and there were beautiful platters that had the words "HOME SWEET HOME" painted on them, with little houses and tiny white fences and kids playing and dogs with Frisbees. I showed one to a coworker "Aren't these so nice!" To my disappointment she had a long face, but she did not say anything. I felt really bad, did I hit a wound?
"What's wrong, honey? Everything all right?" I took her aside, as she had tears in her eyes. This was a young girl, as a matter of fact as young as my second son, working for little extra in her pocket, no household responsibilities, no worries, her dad working for a reputable company and her neighbourhood as upscale as can be for the town.
"Nothing," she said.
"Come on now. I'm not being nosy, but I'm here if you need to talk," I was feeling bad for her. It was her age to be chirping like a bird.
"My Dad cheated on my Mom," she started crying.
Then it became very clear to me why she did not like those platters.

They always say that a house is a house until you make it a home. How do we make it a home? What do we do to make sure that everyone who lives in that house, especially children, are taken care of? We try to live the American dream, give our kids the same toys as other kids, make sure their furniture pieces are matching, their curtains and walls just so. Is it possible that in the processing of providing all those things we are over working and getting stressed out? Is it possible that we are getting away from the other parent of our children, you know our spouse? Why do people cheat? I would never blame the one who is cheated, but I always wondered. One of my friends had gorgeous hair, but she always thought they were a pain. So I asked her why doesn't she get them cut. She said that her husband loved her hair and that she would not cut them. She was young. She said that there will be many more things that may come that might threaten her happy home.

"No happy home should have to be threatened," a friend of my uncle would say. Everyone used to wonder as to why he married someone who had no money, no looks, and no education. People used to be jealous of his wife. He was highly qualified. He could have gotten a beautiful, educated girl if it was up to his parents to find him one. He would not listen to anyone, he just loved her. I heard that he is still married to her and their children are very happy.

I am not trying to pin the blame on men only, I know some women, who did not care about their kids when it came to their own whims and fancies and cheated on their husbands.

Like my friend said, there are a lot of factors that make a "Happy Home", but to start with, let us be nice to each other, so kids can learn.

A to Z Challenge

2011-04-08T16:11:00.000-07:00

A Tribute to letter G

G is for Garden
This is a tribute to my parents as well. They loved gardening. We had a garden in our back yard with fruit trees like Guavas, Mangoes, Bananas, Papayas and Pomegranates. Around the trunk of the Guava trees and the Mango tree, my father had kept little pots with seasonal flowering plants. Then we had Palm trees, Crotons, Roses, Jasmine and many more. Every time my father bought a new plant he would walk my sister and me and showed the plant and told us the name of the plant. At the age of five, my sister had memorised almost all the names of the plants. Then my father would proudly mention that to our relatives. One day one of my uncles asked her the name of a flower he saw in our backyard. My sister did not remember the name for some reason, she kept on thinking and then finally she came up with an answer: "It is the flower of it's own plant." To this day we remember her smart answer. We also had a small garden in the front, most of it had Cactus plants and some Bougainvilleas. Sometimes baby goats would squeeze and come in from underneath the gate and go towards the Cactus. My sister who was five would gently tell the goat not to eat the Cactus because they have thorns and then she would pluck some flowers and some leaves of the Bougainvilleas and feed the goat. To this day, I tell her kids the story about their mom when she was little.
Some people don't even care about plants and trees, but to those of us who care, gardening is our life.

"So you take a subway" she asked.
"I don't have a car, but I have a garden on my patio," he said.

"In our neighbourhood, kids eat right and it does not cost us much," she said.
"Oh?" he said.
"We all grow different kinds of vegetables and give each other gifts of produce from our gardens" she said.

"My heart goes garden, garden,
whenever you smile,
stay for a while,
stay for a while." Translation of an Italian Poem, told by a coworker of mine who said that in Italy a Garden is synonymous with happiness.

"Jason" said Mommy " Where are you taking my silk flowers?"
"Mommy" said Jason. "I am making a garden in my blanket fort."

A to Z Challenge

2011-04-07T16:16:00.000-07:00

A Tribute to letter F

Freshly Baked Bread.

Fresh Vegetables

Fresh Fruits

Fresh Fruit Smoothies

Fresh Water

"Gee, you look so fresh today !"

A to Z Challange

2011-04-06T17:48:00.000-07:00

A tribute to the letter E

Empathy

Today I thought that I would write about energy that I don't really have and a couple of lines complaining about the two rough days I had, would be sufficient. I will close up the blog. But no, my daughter remembered that I had planned on writing about Empathy so here I am. I hope that I will be able to put down my thoughts accurately.

This is the advantage of having kids who are not babies anymore. I tell them my plans and sometimes when the day actually comes for me to see a doctor, even if it slips my mind, they go "so call me and let me know how it went at the doctors today." Oops, good thing he reminded me, and in a nonchalant way I say, "I will." If I am trying to develop empathy with people who are serious when they say that they are getting forgetful, I think that I am close. It is one of my biggest fears. Not being able to remember, comprehend and express myself.

Empathy is, (unlike sympathy) the feeling of pain you get when you meet someone or hear about someone who went through the same pain that you felt. This phenomenon is amazing. I cannot get over it. If I hear on the news about someone who died in an auto accident and their loved ones are upset, my mind goes back to my aunt who lost two of her daughters. This was back in 1984 and in India. So why does my mind relate to the new victims like they were my own family? Old Indian expression translates that it is because we are one big universal family. Pain is something that brings the lost ones closer, this way.

It is very sad to hear that a teacher who was missing in Japan in Tsunami, was found dead. He was from Alaska. My sympathies and my prayers are with his family. I don't know the kind of pain they are feeling but unfortunately thousands of Japanese people do.

I lost my father to Pancreatic Cancer. My daughter never met my father, but she says that every time she hears about someone who died of Pancreatic Cancer, she feels for them.

Focus - A to Z Challenge

2011-04-05T18:20:00.000-07:00

A tribute to letter "D"

Doctors

If you ask me if all the doctors are like Dr. Sanjay Gupta, I would say that most of them would like to be like him. I mean the dedication to his profession and the love for his work is not uncommon, it is just that a lot of them are not as lucky he is. Don't get me wrong, he is a great doctor but so are most of them.
The desire of helping human beings is the number one reason for any one to get into medical school. The wish that they could save lives or at least make people get better from a sickness makes a person take the MCATS. Someone I know is very much upset that in spite of spending thousands of dollars they are not able to get their grandaughter to pass the test. I asked her if the girl is into medicine, the answer I got was that if her father is a doctor and mother is a pharmacist why wouldn't she? The thing is that one has to be into the subject because it is a hard road.

Once they get into a medical school, the students practically forget that they are people, with a need for a social life, the need to sleep and eat on time, the need to be able to make a mistake once in a while because those tests do not allow a single mistake as it is human body that they are studying.

They get out of the medical school tired, roughed out, and their spirit broken with the burden of student loans, which are so big that the monthly payment could easily be enough to pay on a good size, single family house.

So, they are out of medical school, now comes the matching programs for getting into a residency program where they work for peanuts, more than seventy hours a week and double shift majority of the time, made fun of by seniors and putting up with the brunt of the profession.

Now that they have emptied their wallets and piggy banks and used up all the checks and savings bonds given by their relatives, finally they are out of medical school.

So, are they like kings now? If you can call working at the finger tips of HMOs a royal job, then they are. Those who want to go on their own, get into such competition with the big Medical buildings that they are forced to pack up and work for some one any way.

Inspite of such hardships, at the end of the day, the only thing a doctor cares about is whether or not he was able to cure a patient's disease.

So, if you are with a doctor and you are dreaming of a huge palace of a house with nothing less than a Lenox or a Limoge in your curio cabinet it is not fair with him. He is already over burdened. And if you are the young high school graduate hoping for a "mini Cooper" for a graduation gift, think again. You do not want to give your dad a heart attack. He has to take care of his patients.

Focus A to Z Challenge

2011-04-04T07:30:00.000-07:00

C is for Concerns and Cookies

"Goodnight my dear", said Grandpa tucking the little boy under the covers
"Grandpa?" the little boy lifted his head. "Can one place be at two different places?"
"What do you mean?" asked Grandpa, turning on the light and looking in the eyes of his grandson.
"You are saying that there is an imaginary place where there is love for people but Grandma says that there is a place deep down in our hearts where there is love for people" said the little boy.
"Yes" said Grandpa, "It is possible for one place to be at two places at the same time." The little boy looked happy, there were no more questions in his eyes, his eyelids were heavy with sleep. "Goodnight my boy" said Grandpa tucking him again. "Goodnight Grandpa" said the little boy. When the little boy grew up he was a balanced man who cared for people.

In the living room of a couple we knew, there was a plaque with a framed message that said "Children become what they see". Also I heard that the couple was really racist. Then it made me wonder if they sold a plaque that said "Children become what they hear"

In an episode of the television show "The Wonder Years" Kevin notices that his father gets tense when he finds out that his mother has started a new hobby. At the end of the show, his dismay turns into reassurance when he sees that his father goes to comfort his mother when she burned herself with a hot iron.

"We are human beings just like you guys, don't you fight with your siblings?" the milkman's wife was yelling. I asked my Mom why she was like that. My Mom said that she was not being civil. I was not satisfied with her answer. I am still looking for answers. What kind of behavior should a couple adopt when it comes to fights and differences? Some people say be natural, some say sugar coat and some say tell chidren to go to their room.

How do we raise a child to be confident and still not be over confident? We want them to be nice to everyone and not hurt and tease anyone, right?

What do we do about "Barbie dolls " coming with their feet shaped like they should be wearing high heals?

What do we do about Kid's Beauty Pageants?

COOKIES
Cookies are good. Yum !!!
Wait--- What ?
Well --- we can try healthier recipes, with no transfat, no hydrogenated fats less saturated fats and keep the dietary needs and food allergies in mind. OK, I agree, fruits are great. Make cookies an occasional treat, but cookies are still very nice!

Focus - A to Z Challenge

2011-04-02T08:42:00.000-07:00

Tribute to the letter B
The Beatles

Right now my mind is going back to when my kids were young and watching Sesame Street and a band is singing the song "Letter B " to the tune of Let It Be, by the Beatles. There were so many subjects and things that start with the letter B that I could have blogged about, but none would stand out like the Beatles.

I am sure almost every one of us knows a lot about the Beatles already. I lived in England for two years and as much as I would have liked to visit Liverpool, (where the Beatles originally formed their group), my husband chickened out saying that that was a city where he does not like to drive. Oh well, I know that it would not hurt them if a couple of fans did not make it to their city.

They received numerous awards including seven Grammy's, 15 Ivor Novellos (songwriters and composers awards) and they were number twenty in the list of one hundred influential people of the century in one of the Time Magazine issue.

Focus:- A to Z Challenge

2011-04-01T12:20:00.000-07:00

A Tribute to letter A

"AGE"

It has been almost a week since I blogged about anything. First couple of days I felt weird. Then I kind of got used to not writing. I was reading a lot of blogs and commenting on some but the thought of writing was making me feel guilty. I do not want to neglect my husband. For some reason I felt that by having my own thing I was neglecting him. I was practically lying on the living room sofa and watching television shows that I don't even like, the ones I would never watch if my husband did not watch them. Then I told myself that this is going to make me dislike him and I do not want to pick a fight with him, especially when it was my choice. So I decided to write. Also I could not disconnect my self from Internet, there are so many exciting things happening for example this A to Z challenge.
I chose A for Age or rather Age for A. I have a lot of reasons for that, as a matter of fact sixty years. My elders used to say that experience comes with age whenever I made a mistake whether it was cooking or sewing or any other task. Parents and grandparents are awesome. To them even mistakes we make look cute. Now that I am a grandma, no mistake of my grand kids is a mistake. Exactly! what mistake?

Seriously though, I came to an understanding that there are some people much younger than me who have more experience in life than I do. So, you think that I should have waited till I got to letter E for writing about experiences of life. I could have. This thing called age has been working on my nerves though. So I thought that I would write about it.

It is not all the time that I am bothered about age itself. I did not feel getting old. May be I am just lucky. I know my father was strictly against letting us do any of the housework. He used to say that once I am married and have my own life, I would have a lot of work to do. So he spared me my energy and all I had to do was study and keep up with my grades. My friends and coworkers think that it was not a good thing because I should have been experienced enough for real life. It took me less than a week to learn everything about housekeeping. Cooking - I learned from recipes in my head. My friends look at my hands and say that they are still soft. They ask me my secret. I tell them that I had twenty years less dish washing to do than them. They say that they envy me for my soft hands in spite of my age.

What bothers me about this thing called age is that we have certain expectations and certain standards that we go by. Why? OK, OK I got that a little too out of line. What I mean is that if a person does not pass high school by a certain age, he is not happy with himself, or his folks are not happy because society has set some standards. Don't get me wrong, I am all for education, but don't make that guy feel horrible, when in actuality a couple of years' difference will not make a difference in the big picture of life, while breaking a young heart will make a difference when it comes to self-esteem. Same thing about living with parents. It is actually smart, I would say, to live with your parents, earn some money, get some college credits and when you feel secure financially and emotionally, by all means be independent. Do not set an age and do not copy others.
One more thing about age is the saying "Today's sixties are like yesterday's fifty's and today's fifties are like yesterday's forty's and so forth. What the - I mean why should we have to look like we are fifty when in actuality we are sixty. I am for eating healthy and exercising, but not for any special diet just because of looks. I know that if I take care of myself today, I will be healthy( unless I get a teminal illness) and that in turn can make me look good. I do not feel like spending tons of money because people my age want to look ten years younger because times have changed. Cultures and society standards will change, but if we set hard core standards they will probably make us age faster than the standards of our ancestors did to them. They had high standards too, but in values. People did not have to have more things than they could afford just because they were of a certain age.

Geraldine Ferraro: Rest in Peace

2011-03-26T16:54:00.000-07:00

Someone from Orange County, New York, the first woman to become the choice for a running mate has passed away at 75 years of age after a tough battle with blood cancer.
When the presidential candidate Walter Mondale chose her for the vice presidential candidate a lot of women saw their dream come true. Geraldine Ferraro opened up a lot of doors for opportunities for women. Very gracious in spite of losing a senate seat, she willingly worked to help Senator Schumer for his election with a smile.

Human Attitude

2011-03-25T18:42:00.000-07:00

"Please don't," said my Mom.
"Please don't," said my Grandma.
"Please don't," said my co -worker"
"Please do," said my niece.
As a little girl, I used to get upset to see our drawing room filled with smoke, whenever my father had a bridge game. His friends who could not smoke in front of their elders (you know, joint family and all) would avail the chance of being able to smoke in someone else's home. I would ask my mom if I could go and tell them not to smoke. Then my mom would say, "please don't, it is not polite."
Whenever my uncle came to visit my grandma he would ask my Mom for an ashtray. My aunt would say, "I have a bone to pick with him. He is going to die with black lungs." My grandmother said, "Please don't, otherwise he will stop visiting us."
Whenever I wanted to stop my co-workers from smoking, standing outside in cold instead of resting their feet indoors, one of my co-workers would get angry. "Please don't, it is not your business."
Last time when my brother was visiting us with his family, I told his wife that I am going to yell at him, if I see him smoke. My niece quickly came and said, "Oh Auntie, please do, please yell at my dad, please get angry at him, why doesn't he stop smoking, you know how bad it is for him." she sounded helpless and yet she was using all the help she can get to get her dad to stop smoking.
It has been a hundred years since that horrible fire in "The Triangle Waist company". March 25 1911, fire in which 146 people died. They included young girls, eighteen to twenty three. They say most of them were immigrant woman who wanted to make it in the USA to give their kids a chance, a good life. I am not saying that the cause was cigarette smoking,but they were speculating that a lit cigarette was callously thrown in the bin where there were scraps of fabric.
A few years ago, I was a proud participant of "CHAMPS" ie changing human attitude - - - making people safer. This program was implemented because we had to go through hundreds of thousands of pieces of clothing for vendor audit. I wish work places a hundred years ago had this program. May be then all those immigrant mothers would not have to die.

People are people

2011-03-24T18:41:00.000-07:00

I did it. I finally was able to convince my husband that people are people. There are good and bad people everywhere in the world. You take any community, neighbourhood, town, village, city, country, or continent, people are just human beings. So my next task was to convince him that if anyone is apparently bad (because they could be good inside) it is because of the possibility of them being insecure or it could be their upbringing. Sometimes people think that if they are nice, others can take advantage of them. A lot of times so many factors get in our own way of wanting to be nice. So finally, my husband gave in. He said that everyone has at least one good thing in him.
Parents of today's kindergartners and first graders are raising their children with utmost care. They do not want their kids to grow up to be racist or sexist or religiously biased. There is an increased amount of awareness about teaching your kids self-worth and self-respect while teaching them to respect others at the same time. As a matter of fact people are thinking of giving their kids fresh environment even before their kids are born and sometimes even before they meet their possible future spouses. This makes me feel a little relaxed. Now the only task a head is to put away those people who take advantage of kids.
We lost one of our favourite actresses yesterday when Elizabeth Taylor passed away. Different television channels have been showing her life, her achievements and her diamonds and her wealth from perfume line etc. I am just glad that I did not come across any remark about her childhood being scared or her innocence being robbed. No wonder there was always a certain level of confidence and glow about her.

Thank You !!!

2011-03-23T15:00:00.000-07:00

Someone left this award for me on my blog. I have to say that I am honored and am overwhelmed. This means a lot to me because the person who gave me this award is himself a very inspirational writer. I get emotional sometimes when I write, because my ultimate goal is to make every life count and to leave this earth a happy place.

Sisterhood of International Cities

2011-03-21T16:51:00.000-07:00

I feel so petty complaining about snow on the first day of spring when there are people losing their loved ones and people afraid of being exposed to radiation even as we speak. I am grateful and oh so thankful to that gentleman and angel of a policeman who helped us out of the snow this morning. They say here in Orange County, New York that Storm King mountain (as beautiful as it gets in fall) demands respect in winter time. "This is first day of spring," I was whining as I came in the door after being stranded for over two hours. Then I apologized. "I am sorry." The apology was meant for God to hear and forgive me.
Instead, my husband says, "Don't have to apologise, you are the one who suffered." Suffered? Again, I was ashamed of my own behavior.
They say look at a person without a foot, before complaining that your shoes are old. This was after Hirohima and Nagasaki disasters. However terms and terminologies have changed for better. Now people who get amputations have chances of getting prosthetics. Among all of the milestones and breakthroughs the best one I heard of is "Sisterhood of Cities."
"Sisterhood of cities" is a program where people of two cities exchange students from each other. One gives young people of the other citya chance to experience what life is like there. So New York has Tokyo as our International Sister City. Hawaii has about five different cities from Japan. Dallas has something called friendship city connection with Sendai. Teachers and other academic people from Dallas have an attachment with schools and students in Sendai. It was nice to see pictures of American students and Japanese students sharing common interests. Today students from high schools in Dallas feel loss of their Japanese friends from Sendai just like loss of their own family members.

Calm Waters , Relaxed Earth

2011-03-19T16:57:00.000-07:00

I was dozing off on the living room sofa as usual when I woke up to these words, "Sea of Green! Coming up next." So I sit up afraid about what they are going to say next. To my relief they were talking about Saint Patrick's Day Parades in various parts of Westchester County and Manhattan.
"Phew," I wanted to go back to my nap, but no such luck. The parade's bagpipes and heels tapping was followed by the death toll and missing numbers of people in Japan. I know, I feel miserable about not being able to do anything to help console people who lost loved ones or sooth people who are worried. So now if anyone is reading my blog and have loved ones in Japan, my heart goes out for you guys and my prayers are with your loved ones.
Someone left soothing words on my post and that helped a lot. Also, my husband and I got to video chat with our son in Hawaii. He told me that we cannot live in fear and not progress. We just have to learn from our mistakes and improve and improvise. I think that it is a good strategy.
So Governor Cuomo is meeting up with Fed officials to make sure that Indian Point is safe and if not find out how we can make it safe. It is now sitting on Ramapo Fault. I thought that a fault is a place where there are chances of Earthquakes. Some people say the right now that part of Earth is relaxed. My son says that some people think that the Waters in Hawaii are kind of Calm. I say how do we know if thinks will not change? It is nature, we don't know when it will unleash it's wrath. My son tells me to stop being afraid.

Mers Watan Japan (My Motherland Japan)

2011-03-18T17:20:00.000-07:00

I am too worried to write anything. My mind is going crazy about the possible radiation plumes in Hawaii, in California and who knows where else. In this crazy time I want to go back to the serene Japan and share this video with everyone.

This is from an old movie where a girl from Indian background born in Japan is proud of her birth place.

I hope that you will enjoy.

Green Everywhere

2011-03-17T16:06:00.000-07:00

"It is buy one get one free fish fillet sandwitch until lent is over, you know" said my husband. He can use any excuse for fast food.
"It is not even a week," I said making a face.
"Yes it is, we had Sal's Pizza last Thursday, and Sal's is not fast food, not technically." He had a face like a kid who just lost his puppy. I had to give in. Why do I do that? I don't know. Maybe it is the fact that we run into people, some familiar faces, some new, so I guess it is ok. Plus it is fish.
There were more cars than usual. I guess bargains are good. A nice young man who was heading for his break held the door for us. I noticed that he had a big buckle on his belt that said IRISH in green on silver and he had a green folded handkerchief in his shirt pocket. I wished him "Happy Saint Patrick's Day." He smiled and wished me back. Then we went in and on the line by the ordering counter there were some people wearing green. I just smiled.
As I sat down telling my husband that the second fish fillet will be ready in a couple of minutes, I noticed that a lady was wearing a beautiful tunic that was moss green and had hunter green sequences all over the front. I went to her and gave her a compliment and wished her Happy Saint Patrick's Day. She wished me back and said that the tunic was a gift from her sister who orderd it for her from a catalog. Then she pointed to the guy with the green handkerchief who was now behind the french fries burner. She said, "Too bad he can wear only that much green, his uniform you know." I smiled and just nodded. I knew what she meant. When I worked I was lucky for not having to wear uniforms. I then wished that I did. It was hard keeping up with the expense of business attire. I was just glad that I had a job.Then on special days people in the maintainence crew always said how lucky we were to be able to wear what ever we wanted and they just had to wear uniforms. So I would just vaguely smile. I was not about to complain. Then I noticed that the young man came out from behind the french fries burner to collect the empty tray and for a moment put the trays down and using both his hand pulled up his pants and ran his hand on the belt buckle. That made me and the lady in the green tunic very happy.

Leadership, Business, Science and Human Lives

2011-03-15T16:05:00.000-07:00

"We take so much from mother Earth and what do we give back?" said my father's gardener. We had a lot of flowering plants, fruit trees and vegetable gardens and vines so I knew what he meant. I paid close attention to hear what my father would say.
"Except for when we die," my father said. "The land takes nourishment from our dead bodies". That was one of the most gruesome statements I had heard as a little girl. To this day, I try to be careful about what I say around any kid. It was not until I grew up and understood the cycle of life that I understood what my father had said. So to this day I try to limit my needs so I do not have to take too much from this earth. That is my individual choice and I am sure a lot of us have given the subject a thought once in a while. Not all of us can be like Pete Seeger, who recycles even in his nineties. So along with recycling comes the thought about conservation of electricity and water. We need energy and so far a lot of discoveries have been made so efficient and affordable energy can be available. When Enrico Ferni, Leo Szilard, and a group of other scientists made it possible for human beings to be able to enjoy the use of energy, they must have been extremely happy. I am sure they were aware of safety hazards and potential dangers if anything went wrong. I am sure also that they gave emphasis on properly educating people about how crucial the steps are, for taking care that nuclear plants stay safe. I am now wondering about why a country would build such elaborate nuclear plants where earthquakes are possible if not frequently possible. Also why would the government not tell the facts like they are about what is going on. My husband thinks that leaders are afraid of the possibility of mass hysteria. Also businesses do not want to be effected from that mass hysteria.
International atomic energy agency is asking us for financial help.

Signs of Hope

2011-03-13T19:59:00.000-07:00

It has been a nerve wrecking couple of days. Today after being able to talk to our son, my husband and I were able to relax a little bit. I do not have enough words to thank God. It must have been very frightening for our son to have to wake up to sirens and be away from the family. He told our daughter that the sirens sounded like war alerts. I am not surprised. I mean that is Hawaii, people try not to miss a visit to Pearl Harbour when they go on vacation to Hawaii. So it is little wonder that they are well prepared there. Nevertheless, you cannot have a hold on yourself whenever your kids are away from you and the fear of a disaster is all over the news. So I took a deep breath and watched the news all over again.
Hundreds of people lost their lives, thousands are missing and we don't even have an account of how many are injured. I do not even pay attention to material loss. People's property was washed away like toys. boats, cars and houses. We used to hear about these kind of floods in stories. Now all those stories begin to seem real. The worst fear we all had was of the nuclear power plant. It was a relief when they announced in the evening news that the radiation levels are lower than what the scientists say are safe. I mean no one wants to see Onagawa Nuclear Power Point to turn into an other Chernobyl. That is hopeful. We cannot bring back the people who have lost their lives. My heart goes out to their families. Having to suffer nuclear reaction would be beyond devastation.

What do we do?

2011-03-11T20:16:00.000-08:00

Double disaster would be an understatement when we talk about the condition in which Japan is today.
Last night when I heard the winds blowing like they have life in them, I was hoping that there were no homeless people and that every one had a roof on their head and a steady roof at that. At eleven thirty my husband woke up and asked "What was that", I said I don't know, because I really did not know. It turned out that people were working at some hot water heater next door. I said "Thank God it was nobody's roof." Then at four thirty in the morning my son calls from Hawaii telling me not to worry. I did not know what he was talking about then he said, "You didn't watch the news, there was an earthquake in Japan and they are expecting a Tsunami to hit Hawaii."
"Oh my God," I said "Where are you?"
"I am at a friend's house and I will call you, don't try to call me and don't worry."
"OK" I said,"Stay safe."
"OK" he said, and hung up. Since four thirty in the morning today, we have been glued to the TV. I totally forgot about the heavy rains here today, the flood in New Jersey and the number of days people missed work because of the weather. It seems like all our weather problems became petty. I was a nervous wreck, until twelve thirty in the afternoon when my son called again to tell me he is safe, and things are OK in Honolulu. Only then I was able to have breakfast and start the day's work. I am thinking of hundreds of mothers whose kids must be missing, or wives waiting to hear from their husbands and any other family member they are waiting to hear from. We may be able to send financial help, help with goods and services but my heart goes out for them, whose phone will not ring and whose loved one will not say, "Don't worry I am OK."
I do not have energy to blog today, but they say that we are to maintain records of everything, including the times when nature unleashes it's wrath.

We Did Come A Long Way

2011-03-09T18:24:00.000-08:00

When my kids were growing up, I did not read too many books. As a matter of fact it took me forever to finish a book no matter how good it was. To me, my hobbies, my favourite foods, or my leisure had no meaning. I had heard of a lot of stories of children's accidents and disappearances. I just wanted to make sure that there were no incidences and my children grew up safe and sound. So once in a while I would pick up a good book when I went to the library with kids and then simply return it without even reading it. It was a different story with magazines. I would read almost all of the articles of not only my magazines but also the one my husband subscribed to. In some of the ladies' magazines there used to be an ad for cigarettes for ladies. It said something like this, "You have come a long way ----". I used to get so disgusted. Please, oh please, if a lady wants to smoke she will smoke no matter what. Why degrade Women's achievements by using our desire to do good in this world by comparing it to smoking ? Maybe it was true that women were not allowed to smoke in the past, but getting a chance to smoke does not equate to (in any manner) women's education or freedom to achieve anything worthwhile. As a matter of fact I would consider it to be a blessing in disguise if someone is not allowed to smoke.
As one blogger reminded me, women's freedom to do everything men can do, has put an extra burden on us women. Another lady who blogs reminded me that it is up to us to do what we choose to do. I am still happy to be able to choose. I love to cook for my family and it makes me happy to call them for dinner. This is because I choose to.

International Womens Day

2011-03-08T17:38:00.000-08:00

Wow! A hundred years. They say that there has been a lot of injustice with women and still there is unfairness today. I guess I have been lucky. When I used to be home with kids and did everything around the house and took care of kids as well, it seemed like I was getting the short end of a deal. In reality, staying home and taking care of your kid's and your husband's needs is far better than having to deal with the tension at work. There is love within your home. There are statistics, demographics, productivity, deadlines and then your own evaluation before your evaluation with your bosses. Compare that to hugs and smooches from your babies, a kiss in the air from your husband while he watches you wipe and clean your baby? No Sir, I would go back and take care of my babies any time. Well to each his own. I probably would occasionally complain all over again. The thing is that we get education and we know that we are capable of making money just the same. Therefore to us it seems like a very unintelligent choice until we get into the rat race of the outside world. The bottom line is respect, care and consideration will make anything easy even if you are not rich. It is not about being a man or a woman it is about fairness.

I will translate my brother's favourite song. It goes something like this:
EXCHANGE
Simple, straightforward, total and fair exchange of minds, this exchange is of hearts, so have this exchange and surround my whole world.
Make a promise and take one.
This is exchange of flights and skies. Don't have wings, take mine. Take my flight too.
This exchange is of hopes, dreams and sleep. Take my sleep and stay in my eyes.
This exchange is of songs, rhymes and melodies. This exchange is of plans, tokens and memories.
So take my hint and give me a sign.
Give a little and get a lot. It is fine with me. It is still an exchange.

I guess the poet is saying that he will give a lot as long as he gets a little bit of love.

Try to Understand

2011-03-07T17:17:00.000-08:00

Yesterday someone asked me if I knew anyone who knows any tricks to do good in MCAT. I said that I was sorry but I did not know anyone who knows any such tricks. Then she went on to say that her granddaughter studied day and night missing all the shows and not seeing any of her friends and she still did not do good. Again I said "Aw." Then she said that her daughter and son-in-law are sending her to the best undergraduate school and paying for private tutor she could go to and still she did not do good, so her son-in-law is upset. I did not say anything although I was so tempted to. She then said "How could she do that, I mean why did she not try harder? You know how hard my daughter works full time and all so she can send her kids to college?" Now that was a little too much.
"How do you know that she did not try enough?" I asked.
"Yeah that is what I am wondering about, why did she not do good in spite of trying." I was not sure what to tell her. Was she implying that her granddaughter is not smart enough or was she implying that her granddaughter did not try enough? So I kept quiet. Meanwhile a lot of things were going through my head. Poor girl, did her parents ever ask her if she was OK, if things in her school (which was away from home) were OK, was the school good in every sense, is she being bullied? Are the subjects she took of her interests? Does she really want to be a doctor? Yeah that one, a big question. I wonder when people will realize that they should let their kids speak up and when they speak, listen and try to understand their view on how they should live. If they are doing something to hurt themselves or others then let them get counseling, but as long as they are preparing themselves to be able to make a decent living , they should let them follow their passion. A carpenter who follows his passion will make some of the most beautiful pieces of furniture, and someone who is forced to be a doctor will never have compassion for her patients.
My parents loved plants. They gave their plants that they grew from grafting to their friends. Their advise to me, "Do not give a gift of a plant to someone who does not like plants. The plant will suffer in the end."

Heights Of Hope

2011-03-06T09:48:00.000-08:00

"I would be terrified to climb over the side of a twenty-eight story building, suspended by a rope," I said as my family and I were watching the dramatic rescue of the two workers who were dangling on the side of a tall building in Yonkers.
"Oh, he looks like a strong well built firefighter, look at the way he is protecting the guy he is about to rescue, engulfing him with his arms." My husband did not have enough words for admiration for firefighter Mike Giroux . We did not even know the name of the brave, selfless hero who does not even want to be called a hero. When I called my family to the kitchen table for dinner on Friday evening they said no, because they wanted to watch the tv. I turned off the stove and came in the living room to see what was going on. I watched and saw that these two workers were hanging on the side of this tall building (a 28 story Senior center in Yonkers.) The scaffolding had collapsed and there was a high wire rescue going on. We were speechless as we watched a brave firefighter holding one of the workers and a rope at the same time. Little by little he started coming down with the worker and finally we could take a deep breath and could see both of them safe. It turned out that the workers were hanging so high that the ladder of the fire engine could not go that high. So Mr. Mike Giroux went to the top of the building and started rapeling down to the level of the dangling workers and build their confidence up and helped them come down. The other firefighter from the department were standing and talking to the workers through the window to give them hope and confidence. The hard part they said was translating their messages as the workers did not know English language. Once the first worker was saved we had hopes for the second one as he was at least standing on the broken scaffolding unlike the first one who was simply holding on for his life. Then Mr. Mike Giroux saved him too. Mr. Mike Giroux may be a humble human being, but in our eyes (and the eyes of hundreds of New Yorkers) he is a hero.

Fourth of March

2011-03-04T16:31:00.000-08:00

Please excuse me for not having a continuation of sentences in my blog today.
Whenever my husband comes in and takes a deep breath while he is hanging his coat. I know it is because he has seen someone drive very recklessly or he has been stranded in a back up because of an auto accident. Also he gets upset to see young people in GI fatigues. I ask him if he is OK.
"Yes." He barely says the word. I get upset too when I see people getting hurt when they don't have to.
We live not too far from West Point. It is hard to get into the Academy, but the facility has provided a lot of different jobs for a lot of people, from kitchen to maintenance to gardening to tour bus drivers.
There are "SUNY" colleges not too far from where we live and sometimes we see young people in army fatigues.
The Purple Heart Hall of Fame is just around the bend on the way to the airport.
When my husband sits down to write a check for donation, his hand picks up the letter from the American disabled veterans.
"At least they came back," I say.
The public buildings in the town near by have the flags half mast. A family in that town lost their twenty three year old in Afghanistan in the beginning of this week.
Today is the fourth of the month of March. The weather man on the television said "Fourth of March, so March forth and hug a GI, it is Hug a GI Day today."