Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Sunshine Amidst Storm

I have to thank Lenny from Lenny's World for teaching me the real meaning of the word "Love". I know, I know,  it's me, my simple self who will not hesitate to learn even from someone as young as Lenny will always find the kid to be an inspiration. Lenny quotes Winnie the Pooh "Some people care too much. I think it is love".  So why am I hung up on the word "Love" ? Because in India, couples (I mean husband and wife) do not express love for each other in front of anyone, including their own kids (never mind Bollywood movies.)  So when I was extremely concerned about my husband's health our doctor who happens to be from India found it to be amusing and somewhat westernised as he asked me if I grew up here.  I very politely asked him to excuse me as I always have been the one to cross boundaries and step out of a box, any box including culture especially when it came to safety and well being of my family including my husband. He was quite but still had the smirk on his face.  The good thing is that my husband's BP is finally normal and if I had not expressed my concern who knows how much longer it would take for him to feel healthy. I wish though, that he does not have to take extra two pills. Oh well.
Why have I not been writing? Our son from Hawaii was home from the day after the Earth Quake until the day after the storm.  When you get  a home full of sunshine when Hurricane Irene was uprooting even strong and age old trees who has time to write?

Friday, August 19, 2011

Taking Charge

Before I forget :-  I would like to thank everyone who reads my blog postings. My postings make me feel that I am able to connect people somehow.
Two months ago I was worried about losing my memory and a lot of people suggested that it could be because I have been overwhelmed with a lot of things happening at the same time. Then for sometime I have been free of that fear. I would like to remain free of fear. I am trying to ward off thoughts that enter my mind but somehow I keep getting those thoughts again and again and I notised that this happens at times when any of my family members did not get a clean bill of health. So everyone please take care of your health so somebody who loves you does not feel that they are losing it.

When you drive on 9W and pass Storm King Mountain and look down you feel the presence of the Creator of this Universe.
This is our Holy month and it has been said that whatever we ask for is granted provided it does not hurt us or anyone else.  So when I am asking that my husband take charge of his health why doesn't it happen? How can his good health hurt others?
My parents always told us that our wishes may not come true right away, we just have to be patient . Today my daughter confirmed that. Her wish of seeing Cindy Lauper did not come true when she asked for it, but later on in life a friend took her to the concert for the Holidays.
So why am I being so impatient? It is the fear monster. My mother had a stroke when she was sixty-four and died four months later. I know high blood pressure is number one cause of stroke. My fears are not unreasonable. Also I would like our kids to be free of worries and concentrate on their jobs and enjoy their life as well.
So, please everyone take charge of your health. Listen to your doctors, eat right and exercise.
If you love your children take care of yourself so they can have a care free life and enjoy their youth.

Saturday, August 13, 2011


Today is International left handers day.  August 13 was declared to be International left handers day in 1976 to create awareness of the difficulties left handed people face in the world that is mostly made of right handed people.
So, to all my loved ones, my friends, my neighbours, my blogger friends and my coworkers and bosses, I wish a Happy Left Handers Day. Please give yourselves a treat or give you left handed buddy a treat.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Creating Awareness

"Say what you need to say."  John Mayer was on the PA system in the mall this morning. It made me feel good because it felt like someone was on my side. I know, I know, they randomly play any song at all, but maybe I needed to hear it and that is why I felt good when they played it. When I write something, my intention is not to hurt anyone or any culture or tradtion but to let people know that those traditions hurt people more often than we would know. I really don't know how else I can fix things. As of now, all I know is that music makes a certain sea animal very happy. Enjoy !

Friday, August 5, 2011

Time has no effect?

In 1972 my husband and I had a telephone in our home in England but  my parents did not have one in India. Letter writing was the only communication my mother and me had.  As I would finish writing a letter and fold the aerogram, I would cry for good two minutes as I wrote the address, Anand Nagar, Hyderabad, AP India. As beautiful and serene our neighbourhood was in dry times, it was just as messy whenever it rained. Our neighbourhood not only got it's share of rain, but also the rain that fell on Banjara Hills, would come right down. My parents would get so much rain on their front veranda, that it would become unusable. My parents would save up money to get an awning for the veranda but when they almost had enough there would be some unavoidable expense that would make them postpone getting the awning. So when I was able to earn money in England, I wanted to get them an awning for their veranda.  Do you think they would accept that gift? Not in a million years. The reason? I am their female child and people in India do not take money or material gifts from their daughters. I remember all this because tomorrow will be ten years since we lost our mother. A lot of things start coming back in my mind, including the helplessness of being a female child. My parents were considered lucky, because they had four sons and two daughters. I am considered lucky because my husband and I have two sons and one daughter. Anyone who has no sons is still considered to have a hard life. Still people do not accept gifts from their daughter while they expect their male children to help them get out of debt that they incurred arranging for their daughter's wedding. Time passes, we learn to live with the fact that our loved ones are not around but it would be so much comforting to be able to remember that I was  able to share their pain as my brothers were able to.
When my sister in law sends a gift to her mom, she gets a gift back from her mom, which would be twice as expensive. She tells me she feels helpless and wonders as to when our people will break this tradition.

Monday, August 1, 2011


Anand Nagar  (Happiness Town) is the name of the neighbourhood where my house (my parents house) was, before I got married. My parents must have moved half a dozen times between the time I was born and the time when I went to Junior High. Although my father was an accountant he loved construction work. He would buy a house, renovate it and then sell it. My mother did not want to sell our house in Anand Nagar because it was a very pretty place, beautiful flowering plants and fruit trees, a huge prairie in the valley of Banjara Hills (now a lot of Bollywood Actors have built their vacation homes there). When we first moved there my parents friends and some of our relatives were worried for us because besides one more family, we were the only Muslims there. My father always believed that we need to be a good human being (maumin) before we can be a good Muslim. Being scared of other human beings (even though they are not from our faith) is not a good way of starting off as a good human being.
Today on the first day of Ramadan (we say Ramazan), I remember all of this because Ramadan is a month of sharing and caring, more than anything else. In this month we fast all through the day (sunrise to sunset), refrain from all kinds of pleasures and give charity. People who have health problems, travelers, pregnant mothers, nursing mothers and kids under fourteen years of age are exempted. We can opt to feed a meal a day to someone everytime we miss a day of fast when we are fourteen or older and have medical condition. My father did not fast becuase he would become lethargic and would be in danger of passing out if he did not eat every couple of hours. Today this condition is called hypoglycemia. Therefore my mother would give someone a meal a day, to take home and enjoy. That gentleman was not of our faith. In spite of a lot of criticism my mother did not care. Her answer would always be, "he is a human being first, then a believer in whatever faith he belongs to."