Sunday, June 16, 2013

Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to my husband, my son, my brothers, my friends and my blogger friends.  I pray, hope and wish that everyone gets to share and enjoy the achievements of their children and also that they help their children get through tough times, hardships and failures without being judgmental.  

We were watching a commercial for a paper towel this evening and my husband remarked that the mother did not scold the child for spilling her soup, instead she went and took care of the spill with a smile.  I asked him if we should scold a parent for spilling something. He was offended. I then pointed out that parenting is changing and is improving. He was still offended, because he thought that I was putting a parent at the same level as a kid. Our daughter then gave her opinion that while we don't have to scold the kid, we can gently correct him or her. I understand that teaching children is our job, but we don't have to police them. 

My brother thinks that people who do not have children of their own and have to adopt a child are less controlling than those of us who have been lucky enough to have our own. I do not have any say in this matter, but while I have seen a lot of people give their kids a hard time when it comes to marrying outside community, our uncle who has an adopted daughter was just happy that she found someone who cares about her. 

Today I also salute those fathers who are hurting inside while raising their children who have special needs. Also fathers who stay around to be there for their child while their wives leave them like the dad in the television show "Veronica Mars" and the dad in the movie "Pretty in Pink".


      

22 comments:

yaya said...

I love the movie "Pretty in Pink" and I also felt sorry for that Dad. I do think parenting has changed...as I watch my kids with their kids I see a more patient parent then we were. I always told them that if there was something in their growing up they didn't like, then they need to do better than we did and have a different style. They are good Dads and I'm proud of how they are raising their kids. Sometimes I get mad when I see "TV" Dads and Moms..they are made to look like they are dumb and bumbling and the kids are the ones with all the answers! I hope your hubby had a nice Father's Day.

Shelly said...

Parenting has changed, and for the most part, I like to think it has improved, at least I hope so. I join you in wishing all the dads in your family Happy Father's Day!

Donna Hole said...

There are good dads and bad dads, just like good moms and bad moms. Parenting is tough, but I do appreciate Dads when they are truly involved with their children.

.....dhole

Geo. said...

Munir, truly an enlightened message on the subject of parenting. As a father, I consider it a gift. Thank you.

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi Munir - it's lovely to see you on Father's Day .. the balance of parenting must be challenging at times .. but love binds us together ..

Cheers and have a good week ahead -Hilary

Launna said...

Parenting is difficult enough as it is.. I don't think we need to judge each other...

I am grateful for the Dads who actually stay around and raise their children... I unfortunately don't have that close experience but I do have people in my life that are good fathers to their children..:)

darlin said...

I couldn't agree more, parenting has changed and unfortunately it shows in the behavior of children, here anyways. There's not the same level of respect there once was in our society, we have to lock doors today (I know it's not only the youth who are breaking in, yet statistically the majority are youth), we never used to have to lock our cars neither. Youth used to stand on the bus to make room for an elderly individual. When I was young if we ever used the F word or swore at anybody we knew that there would be consequences. I'm not trying to rain on your parade, there are tons of respectful children within our society, it just isn't what it was when I was growing up... just saying.

And definitely hats off to those dads who play the double role, I know that role all too well raising my children by myself and it's challenging being both Mom and Dad to children.

Have a wonderful week!

Belle said...

I didn't get upset when my children spilled or broke things, because as you said, adults do it too. It is just an accident. I do think parent's seem to try to be more patient and that is a good thing.

fishducky said...

I agree with DARLIN!!

Chatty Crone said...

I do think parenting is hard. When I had kids in the 70's it was hard and now with my grandson it is hard. Seems there are always new things to learn to do and not do. Hope you had a great father's day weekend. sandie

DWei said...

I need to take my Dad out to dinner when I get back from my trip.

Janie said...

Being a parent is one of the most difficult jobs we face. When to be strict and when to be simply smile and help is a choice every parent faces. I think the correct answer varies for every child and every situation. I guess that's why parenting is such a challenge.

Optimistic Existentialist said...

What a beautiful and touching tribute :)

Michael Offutt, "Johnny on the Spot" said...

Great father's day sentiment. I agree with your parenting advice.

Annmarie Pipa said...

yep..parenting is not easy..but the rewards are worth the effort!

klahanie said...

Dear Munir,

Apologies for my lateness in commenting. Sometimes my multitasking makes my life very hectic.

What a touching and balanced posting. And yes, there are good dads, bad dads, indifferent dads, absentee dads. As we know, can also be the case with mums.

As a single dad, who does his best to move on from many a pain and question, I know that despite it all, I have done my best to be a loving dad to my beloved son.

Thank you for this, Munir.

Happy weekend to you, my friend.

Gary

Maggie May said...

Some father's that I can think of, treat their children better than their mother does and seem to have a much better idea of their childrens' needs. It is very easy to generalise.
Maggie x

Nuts in May

Cheltz said...

Children need a Dad in the home, even if he isn't perfect. Dad's also generally see things a little differently, than mom, and that's ok too. Two heads are always better than one :).

Teresa Cypher said...

What a nice post, Munir. With your candor, You always have a way of bringing heartfelt warmth to your posts. Two of my thee children grew up with a step-dad who stepped up and replaced their absentee father who chose not to be involved with their lives. Happy Father's Day to all of those guys out there--they are stellar!

Discipline has forever been a point of friction in parenting, I think. It seems that the mother's heart is softer than the dad's in most cases. Interesting subject. :-)

I hope you're having a wonderful summer! :-)

Sharon K. Mayhew said...

I do think parenting has changed over the years. I watched my mother go from overly strict with me to overly lenient with her second family. I tend to explain choices and consequences. When our daughter was little we did time out or put things in time out. She's only really had one temper tantrum. I stuck to my guns and we didn't go to the zoo with friends. She's been a good kid.

Ghadeer said...

Interesting points you've made. I'm not sure what my opinion is on this- maybe I need to become a parent and try it out myself.

Romance Book Haven said...

Great parenting advice. You made interesting points, Munir.

Nas