Thursday, February 13, 2014

Love yourself notes

Vera Wang Love is the Way Valentine Rose Bouquet - 12 Stems - VASE INCLUDED In India,  those of us who were born between the 1950s and 1960s were supervised by our parents and other adults to make sure that we are doing our best to study as good as we can. Working adults were told by other working adults to do their best to make sure that they don't make any mistakes at work so they don't lose their jobs. We were also told that since India has become an independent country we need to improve our standards and we have no excuse not to do good. So those of us who could not make it in India left India for different reasons. That was well and good. The thing that bothered me a lot about our upbringing was the logic of not letting anyone talk good about themselves. Adults believed that if we talk good about ourselves it is bragging and bragging will make us big-headed and also lazy. I don't believe in bragging but I do believe in believing in myself and finding out about my good side and at the same time finding out where I can improve. 

Now that I am a grandmother, I would want to stop the notion that thinking good things about oneself is going to make them lazy. If one gets ninety percent in a subject instead of hundred, one should not have to feel bad, just try better next time. Same thing at work, if you know that you have done your best and the company still picks you to be the one to let go (because they are down sizing), you should not ask yourself what did I do wrong?

This Valentine's Day along with writing words to let someone know how much you like them ,why not write yourself a note about the wonderful qualities you have.

33 comments:

Jim and Sandie said...

I think learning to love ourselves is one of the hardest lessons in life to learn.

Steve said...

Nice post. Enjoyed reading it.

TexWisGirl said...

it is true - we need to love ourselves before we can really love others well.

Beth said...

Excellent post!

Shelly said...

That is indeed a wonderful idea, my friend! Thank you~

Chatty Crone said...

You know I find it easier to love other and harder to love myself - but I am working on it.

Geo. said...

I sure learn a lot here. Your opinion about realistic self-worth encourages great strength. My compliments.

Launna said...

This a fabulous idea Munir, I just read on another blog about how she wrote a love letter to herself... about all her great qualities... I think this is a really great idea too.. ;)

Joanne Noragon said...

What uplifting paragraphs!

Anita said...

Our backgrounds, countries, cultures, education levels, etc. determine our upbringing and how much we do or do not strive for excellence. The older I get, the more I value "balance." Every entity needs it, because what is a world composed of people who do not love themselves because they can not be themselves? Each individual should be the best that he or she can be.

As you can tell, your thoughts have given me thoughts.

Great post! Happy Valentine's Day!

Granny Annie said...

What a very nice post and you made such a good point about being nice to ourselves. At the same time I want to be nice to you. You and your family make me feel good every time you comment on my blog. You lift my spirits and make me glad to continue posting. Thank you for being you and Happy Valentine's Day!

Optimistic Existentialist said...

I think talking and feeling good about ourselves is important! If we don't believe in ourselves, who will??

Tabor said...

Yes, we have to push ourselves but not belittle ourselves. Value second chances and dance when rewarded.

Gossip_Grl said...

Nice post and I think we should all talk about ourselves good and even if it is bad things. We all can learn a lot! Enjoyed reading this post Happy Valentines Day!

Susie Swanson said...

Great post. I enjoyed reading this. Happy Valentine's Day.

yaya said...

I find I'm usually my own worst enemy! Letting criticism roll off is hard. Using it as a learning tool to make changes and moving forward is a goal worth setting and working hard to achieve. You have it correct here in your wonderful post.

Akanksha Jain said...

Wonderful post with positive ideology..

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi Munir .. believing in yourself is essential isn't it - we each have our own wonderful ways.

We're not perfect - any of us .. but we can do our best, and through life keep redeeming our ways ...

Hope you've had a happy Valentine's weekend - albeit I know you're swamped in snow ... keep warm and happy - Hilary

DWei said...

Only brag if you've earned it.

Inger said...

Interesting how different cultures bring up their children.

Denise Covey said...

It is interesting how in different cultures there are various taboos in speaking about ourselves and others. I recently saw a television show where in the Philippines it was good to brag, but this didn't ring true with the Filipino people I know. So, it is tricky. Be true to yourself. Be an agent for change.

Darcy said...

This is a great idea to write yourself a love note, too. It's important to love yourself!
www.amemoryofus.blogspot.com

M. J. Joachim said...

Praise doesn't make people feel bad. It gives them encouragement to keep going on the path they are on. I really enjoyed this post, because it makes so much sense. Love is the answer, and you can't love people too much. False praise, on the other hand, can be detrimental. Honesty is always the best policy. Thank you for sharing this :)

Dee said...

Dear Munir, I think your suggestion is a wonderful one. Complimenting others is, I believe, extremely important. But we also need, as you say, to love ourselves and to compliment our own mystery and complexity, simplicity and beauty. Peace.

Birdie said...

I don't think it is a problem exclusive to India. I was also raised with the notion of not expressing the things I was good at. It wasn't my parents but society. Actually, I think women especially fight against this.

Empty Nest Insider said...

I know a couple where the husband is constantly bragging, while the wife downplays everything, Some cultures don't express their pride, because they're afraid it will bring them bad luck. I think that there's a happy medium. I like your idea that everyone should write themselves a note listing their good qualities. Your list deserves to be a long one, Munir.

Julie

Judy Croome | @judy_croome said...

So true, Munir, and such good advice. Learning to love ourselves *as we are* is the hardest - and most important - love of all!

Namaste!

Judy Croome, South Africa

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi Munir - many thanks for your lovely comment and for letting me know that your husband enjoys my postings - it's an honour to be read.

All the best to you both - Hilary

Kittie Howard said...

A beautiful post, Munir. It's easier for others to love us if we first love ourselves.

Sarah said...

What a lovely idea Munir - I think we are often not nice enough to ourselves and it doesn't do any harm now and then to remind ourselves of our good qualities,

B. WHITTINGTON said...

Munir,
Thanks for stopping by my blog and writing such kind words to me about the loss of my husband. I so appreciate the prayers of you and your family. Makes my heart lighter. Hugs. We all were raised with ways that are outdated and yes we have to change our ways so our grandchildren will grow up in a better environment. You cannot love a child too much and they need praise to better themselves. Very well written article. So appreciate you!!!
www.barbwhitti.blogspot.com

Teresa Cypher said...

A touching post, Munir, and I agree with you. We do need to give ourselves a little love when we do good. When so many others seem all too willing to find our faults and "brag" about them, maybe we need to be kind to ourselves and not be afraid to say, "It was tough, but I did good." :-) Thanks for the reminder.

FOLKWAYS NOTEBOOK said...

This is a very good suggestion. We all need to hear positive reinforcements -- even from ourselves. -- barbara