Sunday, October 16, 2011

Value A Life

It was very hard for me to blog yesterday.  I have been to the walkway before, but I never felt tired as I did yesterday.  Then I realized that emotional stress can be even more tiring than physical hard work.  I felt selfish for thinking about myself, when there were people who had lost their children, their siblings, their parents, their friends and their spouses to suicide.  At the end of the walk all I wanted to do was to remember the Hudson as serene as I always found it to be. So I asked my daughter to take a picture.

What does it take for people to educate people about the seriousness of suicide? I wouldn't know. It was a hard reality for me, forty years ago, when my classmates and I lost my best friend to suicide.  Yesterday we saw quite a few people wearing different colored beads to honor the loss of loved ones.

 When we saw the actual faces of the people on the quilts people had made for their missing loved ones it was extremely hard to look at the survivors. Yet they were very brave.

There were many more quilts, I just did not have the heart to look at them, let alone take picture.
We were not prepared how upset we would be. So I came to an understanding that we have to learn to value life.
Let the echoes of love and understanding resonate.
Learn about mental illnesses.
If you feel that your family is dysfunctional get help.
There is help out there, get it before it is too late.

Tell each other how much you care.

Just remember that your life is very valuable
Also you are not alone in this world.
You are always loved you just don't know it yet.


Chatty Crone said...

Don't you think when someone feels suicidal - at that point of time - they really aren't thinking logically. That is what is hard.


Sorry for your sadness.

Belle said...

Perhaps the schools need to address the issue and tell kids that when they feel hopeless it is a feeling that will pass if they get help. High School would be a good place to have a seminar on suicide. Thank you for sharing, Munir.

yaya said...

Such a sad time but maybe today helped those families that were left behind to grieve when they realized how many people were there to support and comfort them. I'm glad you could do that today even though it was hard. Suicide, the permanent solution to a temporary problem is very difficult for the loved ones left to try and understand what could have been done to prevent it. I hope today helped everyone to heal just a little. Munir, I really wish I knew you lived so close to where I was last weekend. I would have enjoyed meeting you and spending some time together. If we go back again, I'll let you know. I hope you have a good week.

Monalisa said...

This is a serious issue. In India, we have Criminal proceedings against suicide attempts (if one fails of course), similar to a murder case. I feel nobody would want to suicide if one ever knew what its like. I've heard if one tries suicide once and fails, he would know the pain and would never attempt it again, not even think about it. But as about one who's broken, I can't say. He gets so much courage for a moment, and that moment where everything works on a single emotion, he tends to forget everything else. One won't think how high a cliff is, or what a life is worth in such a situation. He would just be on a fantasy.His emotions taking control of him. yes, a sad situation.

I feel cure should start from the family. Re-institutionalize families, and create a protective realm of hope and a place to retreat; where one could always free his mind on anything and release his pressures. And i'm sure when one keeps coming back to such a place, no other tension would matter more than his own family.

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi Munir .. suicide is very serious as I know. Today - there will be many more in the economic climate that we have .. we need lots of caring people and helpful organisations to guide desperate people and help them through - create understanding and love. Thanks - look after yourself .. Hilary

Sarah Pearson said...

I'm so sorry for your sadness, thank you for writing such thoughtful words in the midst of your pain and tiredness.

Shelly said...

This was a very deep and profound post, Munir. Thank you for putting it to words. I hope today is an exciting, wonderful day for you, too, my friend-

Clint said...

Suicide is a terrible issue. So often those who commit it are seemingly ok, but inside they are churning and cannot share their torment.

Hope said...

profound post Munir. I'm happy that you are able to share with us your thoughts and solutions to this issue.

very great comments following!

Michael Offutt said...

Suicide is one of the last taboos. For some reason, the Japanese really raised suicide to an art form and I think they are one of the only cultures to really do so...basically taking honor to an extreme rarely seen. There are a few other cultures that get almost as close but I digress.

You should check out how many suicides that Cornell University has had (that is if you want to experience more depression). My book takes place at Cornell (Ivy League school) so I did a lot of research on this. Cornell has gorges and each year, kids are found dead on the bottom of the ravine. They've put huge walls around the bridges and stuff to make it harder for people to throw themselves to their death. But happens.

LynNerd said...

Oh, yes, it's very upsetting to deal with people taking their own lives and forever scarring the loved ones left behind. Beautiful insight, Munir.

Better is Possible said...

I hope it will encourage you to know that the rate of suicide in young adults has decreased in the past several years. I was at a conference for school counsellors yesterday and the keynote speaker, Dr. Bill McEwan included the latest statistics in his talk. Of course even one life lost to suicide is too much, but it was hopeful to hear that the work we are doing in our schools is having an impact. Yes, there have been some tragic deaths recently, but overall the message to choose life as well as having kids report their suicidal friends is spreading. The message I tell students is that it's better to have a mad friend (for telling) than a dead friend. They are getting the message.

Mariette said...

Dearest Munir,

A very touching subject but in this society with morals that are slipping away, their is a lot of neglect. Wouldn't it be great for kids wearing uniforms and just going to school to study instead of being bullied at by others because of their clothes or lack of wealth? Their seems to be too much pressure at times from society demanding too much of some... While being international consultants we always wondered why in other countries those kids in uniforms wore the biggest smiles. But in our hearts we actually knew why.
It starts very young and they're being measured out all along the way till they don't know how to get out. Of course, abuse of substance is a major factor but there are other sensitivities involved.
Love to you,


Granny Annie said...

It is tricky business to try and pinpoint reasons for suicide. It has to be more than bullying at school or bad parenting or drugs. It seems when a person is intent on ending their own life, they somehow manage to get it done and rarely, if ever, the reason is known. We are only left in anguish to blame ourselves in some way that probably had nothing to do with it. My grandchildren and grand nieces and nephews seem to have had more classmates commit suicide than is imaginable. It has affected all of them for life.