Saturday, December 3, 2011

Pains behind gift giving

My brother, a retired US Navy Chief is loved by family and friends and coworkers alike for his hard work and his sense of humor. However, when he came to the US in 1977,  he was not very confident about how he would survive as he had not finished his college. Our Mom used to worry about his future as well, you know how people worry about a man supporting his wife and kids. Then he joined the Navy and soon after that he met a very nice girl. She became an inspiration for him. He pulled through the verbal abuse that comes with the basic training and the physical hardships as well. They had a simple wedding and he would sometimes take her on his ship and sometimes leave her home with her parents. When they had a beautiful baby girl, he did the same thing. A year later, they had one more cutie. Now a father of two little girls, he would go abroad sometimes leaving them with his in-laws and somtimes with our Mom and very rarely taking them with him. Now that he is retired, he spends a lot of quality time with his wife and his daughters who are in their teenage years, teaches them how to stay away from troubles and the importance of education. However, when it comes to spending money, anyone who knows him thinks that he is spoiling them. He says that when his wife and kids ask for something, no matter how expensive it may be he will not say no. His logic is that they were very patient when he was away and very supportive when he would be too tired to do anything fun with them. He always says that what they gave him is more than he could ever give them, so he tries to buy them what ever they want.
When I come home from work and talk to my husband about how people are spending money, he tells me that I do not know what they could be going through. He tells me to look at my brother and understand people's pain behind their gift giving.

12 comments:

Shelly said...

Your brother sounds like a very inspirational success story. They sound like a happy family. :)

Belle said...

I think your husband is right. We don't know the reasons behind why people do what they do. If we knew the reasons, we would understand.
Your brother sounds like a kind man who appreciates what his family went through. Gifts are his way of repaying them.

Michael Offutt, Expert Critic said...

Yeah...I am going to side with your husband on this one.

The Unknowngnome said...

Both husband and brother know of what they speak but you know that. :)

Step-parent's Cove said...

Wow. Touching. Thought provoking. Hum? Sounds like your husband is a very wise man who is married to a very wise woman.

I'm a gift giver. Before I owned my own storefront I would purchase things on sale. Save them until the right person came along to give them a home. I normally give gifts around Christmas, but you could find me giving gifts throughout the year.

Nice post.

Monalisa said...

Aaah ! Thats something to think about what your husband just told you. And your brother I'm sure he's a great person. Someone to be admired.

yaya said...

We don't know what goes on behind closed doors in others families, but it sounds like your brother has a handle on things and has a successful marriage and life. Your hubby is very wise..."pain behind their giving" is a wonderful way to look at things.

Steadfast Ahoy! said...

I'm with YaYa...when I was first married and my sister told me what my mother was saying about me and my husband's financial status, I was shocked. Nobody really knows everything that is happening in another family, financially or otherwise. Give the benefit of the doubt and be gracious. The Golden Rule.
Rosemary

Chatty Crone said...

So true - it is hard to know what is in a person's heart.

Love,
sandie

PS Does your brother need another daughter? lol

Birdie said...

your post is something to think about ... i see the difference between when i was a kid and what i was receiving and what the children receive today ... it's true that we don't know what's happening in peoples hearts; yet i think, we also live in a over-consuming society ... i know i'm going to think about your lines today Munir ... thank you for your kind visit at my blog yesterday, very nice to meet you!!

Sharon K. Mayhew said...

Your husband puts forth a very good point. People have different priorities and value different things. Sometimes it's hard to understand why people spend money the way they do, but you (generic you) never know the things that have lead to those choices...

Your brother sounds like an amazing man.

Feel Islam said...

What a post it is. Sis, I have just finished an article on giving a beautiful and unique gift to anyone without spending a single penny but that could make forever changes in life, and I just got stuck at your article.

It's so sad that people spend too much of money in gifts, but they fail to realize that with zero money they can give marvelous gifts. If you have a minute, please come and read my story here.

Thanks,
Feel Islam
http://feelislam.com/
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