Saturday, March 3, 2012

Big Shots?

Sometimes when I write, I feel like I am neglecting my husband. Writing is not his thing and neither is fiction reading. He will read as many non-fiction and informative books as he can in a day. That does not bother me, as I do the same with blog/magazine reading. It is when he is alone, not reading or watching the television I feel guilty about writing. My upbringing always echoed with the instructions to girls about not neglecting their husbands. Why don't I remember boys or men being told to not neglect their wives?  I don't know, maybe men were told just the same way as women were told. Maybe I just don't remember.

Daytime television shows have at least a couple of cases where men cheat on their wives, but also vice versa. I sometimes get disgusted when I see people complaining about their spouses spending too much time in making a living. They just need an excuse to have an affair. Talk about being ungrateful. I don't like being judgmental but I believe in being fair. So when a person marries someone what is the promise? Is conditional cheating included in the lists of things allowed?

In India where (and when) arrange marriages take place parents try to make sure that their daughters go in families where there are enough resources to give their daughters at least the same comfort and material goods as she grew up with, if not more. So if one is to marry a girl from a rich family he better make sure that he is making good money. A lot of times rich father in laws act like big shots in front of their daughters to look better than anyone else and I am sure that it can be hurtful. 

We came back from the movies a couple of hours ago. We saw "The Descendants". Our son in Hawaii said that he saw it three times as it was filmed in Hawaii. It is a very good movie. Now I have to see "The Artist" to compare and see how much better the other actor is. Anyway, I was not shocked about the infidelity nor was offended by the language because of the times that we are in. I was however hurt by the attitude of the father-in-law. He does not even know what kind of a wife his daughter was but he was quick to point his son-in-law that he did not give enough to his daughter. That I think is very unfair.


Chatty Crone said...

I want to see both of those two movies too. sandie


I look forward to seeing those movies. I believe no matter the culture in which we grew up we need to respect ourselves and our spouses.
I believe in being true to my husband as I expect him to remain true to me. Otherwise why do we take vows and promise to love each other forever.
I was lucky to have in laws I liked. And I think they liked me though they are gone now.
hope you have a great week end.

Belle said...

I believe in faithfulness in a marriage. You are right, people just make excuses to commit adultery. I do want to see both the movies you are talking about.

oceangirl said...

I'll be looking forward to the movies too. I believe that if I still have my husband, I won't be blogging but who is to know for sure, and I know better than to say never.

Sarah Pearson said...

Being unfaithful is a definite dealbreaker for me. It's why I'm no longer with my husband.

Granny Annie said...

My husband and I share enjoyment of the computer and he has the desktop while I'm on the laptop. He also loves crossword puzzles. Because were both very self-sufficient for a number of years, we can manage and will help each other.

I don't have any desire to see The Artist because reviews from friends have not been good.

Shelly said...

I am really looking forward to seeing both those movies, especially The Artist. You are right, the marriage commitment is taken too casually these days. Both partners should be faithful to each and take care of each other.

Monalisa said...

As about me, my husband was in fact the one who inspired me to start a blog. I'm not sure why he asked me such a thing though, maybe he thought I write well, though i never successfully did that on blog unless scribble. Nonetheless, I've made some very good friends on blog, and have known a world of it more than anything else.

And about ignoring husbands while they're at home - I would never NEVER do that. yes, born in India. Brought up well within Indian premises.

My fingers are fluttering to type more, but that i'm flooded and confused what next to say, thats all for now



Tracy said...

I want to see those movies as well...I think we all have many factors that play a hand in our relstionships; culture, past relatiohsips, our parents, the media and our sense of self...good post Munir!

Leontien said...

Yes! i sometimes think the same! But i know my hubby is happy as long as i am happy and he knows that when i "write" i'm happy, so he's good! haha

My sister saw the Artist and she liked it a lot!


Michael Offutt, Tebow Cult Initiate said...

I hope you enjoy the Artist! I was blown away by it.

Regarding thoughts on marriage, I agree with you that people who are married should try harder to respect the choice they made to become married and work to make it successful. Sometimes I think the problem is that people get married for the wrong reason. Oh's not like people make bad choices every single day.

Clint said...

My wife is the one who inspired me to start a blog. She has her blog, too. I think---at least for us---that our blogs are a way for us to independently express what is on our minds at any given time. We also enjoy discussing our posts with each other.

As for as cheating goes, men and women have been doing that for as long as men and women have existed. It'll certainly permanently ruin the trust in a marriage.

yaya said...

I feel that when you take a vow of marriage then you should honor that vow and be faithful. I don't understand cheating. If you are that unhappy then maybe a divorce or counseling is needed. I hate liars. I haven't seen any of the movies. It's funny how we accept language and situations in movies and TV that we didn't years ago. Arranged marriages do have their advantages!

Susie Swanson said...

I want to watch those movies.. My husband and I share the computer..I find that sometimes when I let him have it for a while, the inspiration to write comes more clear for me.. Susie

klahanie said...

Greetings Munir,
I would like to think, ideally, that we rejoice in the interests of others, even if they are not particularly appealing to us.
I firmly believe that marriage is a two-way street and that we understand that each must know of mutual respect.
The cheating mentioned dredges up some pain. When I think that I remained ever faithful, only to have my then wife, destroy what I believed to be sacred, by having an affair, makes me feel vulnerable.
In an ideal world, we share each others hopes and aspirations.
Thank you for this emotive and thought provoking posting.
With respect, Gary

Vanilla Mama said...

I love your insight - I am also looking forward to seeing the movies.

Ruth said...

I haven't heard of "The Descendants"

DWei said...

Yeah, people will make up whatever excuses they want to justify their actions so long as it puts an ease to their conscious.

momto8 said...

My oldest daughter got married in Sept..he is everything I prayed he would be!! and he loves her so much that his love is enough for anything!!
I am your newest follower..pls follow back if you can.
We only do red box here...i am always disappointed in a movie we paid to much to see!

Sharon K. Mayhew said...

I haven't seen either movie. I do feel that marriage has become a lease to own option. If you still like it after a couple years, you can stay on or if not you can cancel the lease. My husband and I were both children of divorced families....we waited 10 years to have a child. We wanted to be sure we would stay together. I know every person has to do what is right for them, but I think rushing into relationships is one of the reasons so many marriages fail.

CarrieBoo said...

My husband sees my writing time as an opportunity to play his Battlefield shooting game! Or is it the other way round? ;) Nice to meet you, and thanks for stopping by my blog.

Shelley Sly said...

Thanks for visiting my blog. I'm now a follower of yours. :)

I believe in total faithfulness in marriage. The key for my own marriage is communication. I spend a lot of time writing and researching while he plays video games/watches TV. That's okay for us. He knows I'm working, and I know he needs time to relax after his day job. As long as we make time for each other, it works out.

Arlee Bird said...

I understand what you're saying about spousal responsibility. My wife is not very interested in my writing related activities, but she tolerates it. A few times we have read the same book and were able to discuss it. This is nice, but mostly she doesn't like to read either. Marriage is a give and take relationship that requires balance.

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Nikskie said...

i do believe in marriage. just found your blog, and glad i found it

Valentina Hepburn said...

Hi Munir,
Thank you for commenting on A Girl Called Random. I haven't seen either movie but I've heard bad reviews about The Artist, even though it won lots of awards. Personally, I think I would get impatient with it being silent. Not my cup of tea. Addressing your other question - respect costs nothing. If someone wants to be with someone else, they should leave their relationship with honesty, instead of cheating on the other person. Cheating never ends well. I've seen it so much with my friends and I think they need a reality check. Treat someone how you wish to be treated, surely!

Elisabeth Hirsch said...

It is sad when people make excuses about affairs. It's also sad when people keeping taking the poor treatment :(