Happy Mother's Day
Happy Mother's Day to all mothers and all of their children.
I miss my mom on Mother's day more than on her own birthday or the day she passed away. However today I miss someone who always called me "mommy." She was not related to me nor was she as young as my children but she called me "mommy" anyway. My husband always wonders why she called me "Mommy" as she was almost my age.
There have been times when I have gone out of my limits and told people to do the right thing especially when it came to their health. Some times my younger coworkers teased me and said "OK mom," and we laughed. One of my neighbors did not take care of herself at all. I really felt bad for her. I did not want to pry or ask questions as I did not know her that much as she moved in the neighborhood much after we did. Then one day when she opened up to me and told me that she needed to take better care of herself, I thought that may be I can encourage her to eat the right foods and invite her to come for walks with me. Whenever I asked her to come walk with me she gave some reason or the other to avoid having to walk. Then she would smile and say "All right Mommy I will come tomorrow." Tomorrow never came. Summer time would change into Fall and then into Winter. We never got a chance to walk. I did keep a check on her and asked whether or not she is eating right. She always said "OK mommy," and avoided the answer. Then came the time when she moved into a Senior home. I felt bad, but her son and our other neighbors said that it was the best thing for her. Within a year after she moved in the Senior home, I found out that she died. One of my neighbors told me that she died because she was not taking care of herself at all. She had gained a lot of weight and not leave her room. Today I am wondering if I could have done something more than just be a friendly neighbor.
28 comments:
i think you encouraged her without harassing her. you gave her opportunities but did not force her. it was her choice to make.
You did the best that you could. The number one person in charge of her well being was herself. Sadly she couldn't do that.
You tried your best, nagging doesn't work.
I think you did all you could. But you did what you could at the time. We all look back and wish we could have done more, but we are not super-human, nor can we "make" someone do things, that has to come from inside, I think. Coaching helps, and that is what you did, the fact that she called you "Mommy," shows so much.
You did your best Munir. We can only go so far and then we have to give people their own space. I think calling you mommy was a term of endearment. She knew you cared and wanted to help her. But it was her choice in the end.
Bless you for being a good neighbor. Hugs!
Caring for others is not simply being a mommy, it is a posture toward existence. You cared, still care. You have my admiration.
Happy Mother's day to you too Munir♡
There is much you can do for someone if they don't want to change. I think it is sweet that you tried... we all have our freedom of choice ... have a wonderful day :-)
You did the absolute best that you could! We can really only do so much. Thank you for sharing this with us and it's good to see a post from you! :) I've missed your posts.
She loved you for your concern, although she was not able to take the advice.
You did the best you could with what was in your power.
Hi Munir - sadly we cannot help others ... only encourage them - and she led her own life - difficult as it may be.
I hope you had a lovely day and were treated well ... Happy Mother's Day ... cheers Hilary
When my brother-in-law passed away due to drugs I often wondered if we could have done more to save him. My husband said "Sometimes a person has to die to get better". We can't want something more than they do...you sound like you were a wonderful friend and neighbor and did the most that she allowed you to do. I hope you had a wonderful Mother's day.
I will only believe that you did all you could do. Your heart is good and your intentions are kind. You would have reached out to this person as far as she would allow. It is important to respect boundaries, even if we do not believe they are the best for the individual. It is their choice. Hope you had a relaxing and joyful Mother's Day.
Awe, so sorry I'm late but Happy Belated Mother's Day to you. Hugs, xo
Dearest Munir,
Mother's Day is such a day for pondering... Not the commercial aspect of the day, but for the 365 days of the year; our thoughts and feelings.
As for your neighbor, she has been a perfect example of leading a horse to the water but the horse has to drink him or herself... For reasons not known to outsiders, she did not let anyone change her lifestyle, how sad in the end it may have been.
Hugs to you,
Mariette
Hi human, Munir,
My dear human friend, maybe this is little consolation, but you did more for that neighbour than many would do. You know your heart is in the right place.
I hope your North American Mother's Day was a peaceful one.
Penny :)
I wanted to thank you for dropping by my blog... you are always so sweet and kind to me... I adore all your comments... :)
Launna
It's a God's gift to be a mother!
You did what you could, and you shouldn't guilt yourself over what-ifs.
You did something wonderful for her: you cared. I'm sure it meant more to her than she admitted. But we can never help more than somebody lets us. We can only offer it, but the person needs to decide themselves they want to change something. Putting pressure will never help, it will have the opposite effect. Change will only happen if the person wants it to. So you did everything you could :)
Happy Mother's Day!
Dear Munir, I think that all of us wonder about things we didn't do as well as things we did do that might have brought harm to another. But the truth is that you were a presence in your neighbor's life and for some reason--which you'll probably never know--she was unable to love herself enough to take care of herself. I suspect that your visiting was a balm that helped her live as long as she did. Peace.
I have learned you can only help those that want to be helped. If they do not want to change nothing you can do will make them do the right thing. You did all you could my sweet friend.
I believe that many people just get tired of living; and in those cases, there is nothing anyone can do.
From what you've told us here, you did all that you could do. I'm sure this woman knew how much you cared.
I think you did the right thing. She could tell you cared, but she wasn't motivated on the inside.
Just wanted to stop by and say hi and that I hope all is well!!
I agree with the other commentators. You did the best you could.
I have a friend, who also happens to come from India, who I call "Mummy" although she is only a year older to me, because she is always telling me to eat more and take care of myself! You two would get along!
What a nice tribute to your friend. It sounds to me like you were a wonderful friend to her. You kept the door open for her to take walks with you and you asked her questions without being overbearing. You gave her an opening, but only she could decide to go through the door.
She knew you cared about her and it sounds like it meant a lot to her. :)
~Jess
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