We Did Come A Long Way

When my kids were growing up, I did not read too many books. As a matter of fact it took me forever to finish a book no matter how good it was. To me, my hobbies, my favourite foods, or my leisure had no meaning. I had heard of a lot of stories of children's accidents and disappearances. I just wanted to make sure that there were no incidences and my children grew up safe and sound. So once in a while I would pick up a good book when I went to the library with kids and then simply return it without even reading it. It was a different story with magazines. I would read almost all of the articles of not only my magazines but also the one my husband subscribed to. In some of the ladies' magazines there used to be an ad for cigarettes for ladies. It said something like this, "You have come a long way  ----".  I used to get so disgusted. Please, oh please, if a lady wants to smoke she will smoke no matter what. Why degrade Women's achievements by using our desire to do good in this world by comparing it to smoking ? Maybe it was true that women were not allowed to smoke in the past, but getting a chance to smoke does not equate to (in any manner) women's education or freedom to achieve anything worthwhile. As a matter of fact I would consider it to be a blessing in disguise if someone is not allowed to smoke.
As one blogger reminded me, women's freedom to do everything men can do, has put an extra burden on us women. Another lady who blogs reminded me that it is up to us to do what we choose to do. I am still happy to be able to choose. I love to cook for my family and it makes me happy to call them  for dinner. This is because I choose to.

International Womens Day

Wow! A hundred years. They say that there has been a lot of injustice with women and still there is unfairness today. I guess I have been lucky. When I used to be home with kids and did everything around the house and took care of kids as well, it seemed like I was getting the short end of a deal. In reality, staying home and taking care of your kid's and your husband's needs is far better than having to deal with the tension at work. There is love within your home. There are statistics, demographics, productivity, deadlines and then your own evaluation before your evaluation with your bosses. Compare that to hugs and smooches from your babies, a kiss in the air from your husband while he watches you wipe and clean your baby? No Sir, I would go back and take care of my babies any time. Well to each his own. I probably would occasionally complain all over again. The thing is that we get education and we know that we are capable of making money just the same. Therefore to us it seems like a very unintelligent choice until we get into the rat race of the outside world. The bottom line is respect, care and consideration will make anything easy even if you are not rich. It is not about being a man or a woman it is about fairness.

I will translate my brother's favourite song. It goes something like this:
EXCHANGE
Simple, straightforward, total and fair exchange of minds, this exchange is of hearts, so have this exchange and surround my whole world.
Make a promise and take one.
This is exchange of flights and skies. Don't have wings, take mine. Take my flight too.
This exchange is of hopes, dreams and sleep. Take my sleep and stay in my eyes.
This exchange is of songs, rhymes and melodies. This exchange is of plans, tokens and memories.
So take my hint and give me a sign.
Give a little and get a lot. It is fine with me. It is still an exchange.

I guess the poet is saying that he will give a lot as long as he gets a little bit of love.

Try to Understand

Yesterday someone asked me if I knew anyone who knows any tricks to do good in MCAT. I said that I was sorry but I did not know anyone who knows any such tricks. Then she went on to say that her granddaughter studied day and night missing all the shows and not seeing any of her friends and she still did not do good. Again I said "Aw." Then she said that her daughter and son-in-law are sending her to the best undergraduate school and paying for private tutor she could go to and still she did not do good, so her son-in-law is upset. I did not say anything although I was so tempted to. She then said "How could she do that, I mean why did she not try harder? You know how hard my daughter works full time and all so she can send her kids to college?" Now that was a little too much.
"How do you know that she did not try enough?" I asked.
"Yeah that is what I am wondering about, why did she not do good in spite of trying." I was not sure what to tell her. Was she implying that her granddaughter is not smart enough or was she implying that her granddaughter did not try enough? So I kept quiet. Meanwhile a lot of things were going through my head. Poor girl, did her parents ever ask her if she was OK, if things in her school (which was away from home) were OK, was the school good in every sense, is she being bullied? Are the subjects she took of her interests? Does she really want to be a doctor? Yeah that one, a big question. I wonder when people will realize that they should let their kids speak up and when they speak, listen and try to understand their view on how they should live. If they are doing something to hurt themselves or others then let them get counseling, but as long as they are preparing themselves to be able to make a decent living , they should let them follow their passion. A carpenter who follows his passion will make some of the most beautiful pieces of furniture, and someone who is forced to be a doctor will never have compassion for her patients.
My parents loved plants. They gave their plants that they grew from grafting to their friends. Their advise to me, "Do not give a gift of a plant to someone who does not like plants. The plant will suffer in the end."

Heights Of Hope

"I would be terrified to climb over the side of a twenty-eight story building, suspended by a rope," I said as my family and I were watching the dramatic rescue of the two workers who were dangling on the side of a tall building in Yonkers.
"Oh, he looks like a strong well built firefighter, look at the way he is protecting the guy he is about to rescue, engulfing him with his arms." My husband did not have enough words for admiration for firefighter Mike Giroux . We did not even know the name of the brave, selfless hero who does not even want to be called a hero. When I called my family to the kitchen table for dinner on Friday evening they said no, because they wanted to watch the tv. I turned off the stove and came in the living room to see what was going on. I watched and saw that these two workers were hanging on the side of this tall building (a 28 story Senior center in Yonkers.) The scaffolding had collapsed and there was a high wire rescue going on. We were speechless as we watched a brave firefighter holding one of the workers and a rope at the same time. Little by little he started coming down with the worker and finally we could take a deep breath and could see both of them safe. It turned out that the workers were hanging so high that the ladder of the fire engine could not go that high. So Mr. Mike Giroux went to the top of the building and started rapeling down to the level of the dangling workers and build their confidence up and helped them come down. The other firefighter from the department  were standing and talking to the workers through the window to give them hope and confidence. The hard part they said was translating their messages as the workers did not know English language. Once the first worker was saved we had hopes for the second one as he was at least standing on the broken scaffolding unlike the first one who was simply holding on for his life. Then Mr. Mike Giroux saved him too. Mr. Mike Giroux may be a humble human being, but in our eyes (and the eyes of hundreds of New Yorkers) he is a hero.

Fourth of March

Please excuse me for not having a continuation of sentences in my blog today.
Whenever my husband comes in and takes a deep breath while he is hanging his coat. I know it is because he has seen someone drive very recklessly or he has been stranded in a back up because of an auto accident. Also he gets upset to see young people in GI fatigues. I ask him if he is OK.
"Yes." He barely says the word. I get upset too when I see people getting hurt when they don't have to.
We live not too far from West Point. It is hard to get into the Academy, but the facility has provided a lot of different jobs for a lot of people, from kitchen to maintenance to gardening to tour bus drivers.
There are "SUNY" colleges not too far from where we live and sometimes we see young people in army fatigues.
The Purple Heart Hall of Fame is just around the bend on the way to the airport.
When my husband sits down to write a check for donation, his hand picks up the letter from the American disabled veterans.
"At least they came back," I say.
The public buildings in the town near by have the flags half mast. A family in that town lost their twenty three year old in Afghanistan in the beginning of this week.
Today is the fourth of the month of March. The weather man on the television said "Fourth of March, so March forth and hug a GI, it is Hug a GI Day today."

No Matter How Small

When my children were sophomores in high school, parents and guardians got very exciting letters in the mail. The letters had a lovely note of congratulations alongside a list of the student's achievements like AP classes, honor and high honor rolls, extracurricular activities, etc. I got the letter as well. I was very much excited and then I looked at the return address. I was a little confused. The letter was not from the school they attended or even the school district they were in. I read it again. It was from the publishers of some kind of directory of good students and it said that I can buy the book for a hundred and fifty dollars so I can show it off and be proud. Then a friend of mine told me to wait and see if I get something from "Who's Who", and that the book will be the only worthwhile book to spend money on. She said that the rest would be scams. I waited and I did pay ( I don't remember how much) but less than the scam people were asking. I still wonder why do people scam?
 I am not saying that beauty pageants are scams. I just thought that I would find out what is in it for the people who organize them. So, I was looking at the cost of some of the pageants for little girls. The registration fee can go up to five hundred dollars (not including the travel and accommodations expenses.) This is well and good, people want to be proud of their babies and kids so it is their prerogative to spend. Also to each his own, I am sure every Mom finds her daughter to be cute and probably feel swept off and get carried away when offered a chance. The only fear I have is the emotional turmoil the kids and the parents go through, the hurt and the damage to self esteem of the kids who loose and then the overconfidence or even vanity of those who win. It was interesting to know that the first few beauty pageants (not the kiddy ones) were started by an owner of a hotel in Atlantic City in the early 1920s. The kiddy ones started somewhere in the 60s.
I will admit that I like one kiddy pageant. The one where Tommy becomes Tonya.( even in a cartoon he looked cute as a girl.) Remember Rugrats?
Talking of comics, and stories for kids, today is the birthday of someone unforgettable, who taught us "A person is a person no matter how small."  Dr.Seuss you will always be in our hearts. (March 2, 1904 to September 24,1991)

Misconstrued ? I Hope Not - - -

When something bothers me, it really bothers me. It does not matter how big or small the issue is, I simply cannot say "meh" and pack it and put it away. I get uneasy until I come up with something to take care of it. So when I suggested that there should be a category for young actors and actresses at the Oscars, I did not mean to encourage kid pageants. Oh no. I am not at all in favour of  glamourising little girls like that. I hope that no one misunderstood me.This fear came to my mind when I remembered the little girl in the movie, "Little Miss Sunshine". She was also nominated but did not get the award. A brilliant and talented little actress, she opened up my eyes or rather the movie itself opened up my eyes as to how shallow those pageants can be. I was not even aware that there were pageants like that since I come from a background where we strive to give children the ability to read and write and spend time and money more on education than anything else. It was actually when Jon Benet Ramsey died and the mysterious circumstances of her demise were all over the television, I realized that such pageants existed. When Joel Mchale showed the clip of "Toddlers in Tiaras" I felt like throwing up. So please do not misunderstand me. I sincerely think that there should be a category for young artists or even young script writers. With today's kids anything is possible.