While reminiscing about my grandmother's house and my parents' house I recall being told not to do silly things, like reaching in the chicken coop and picking a chick then getting pecked. I know that for every little thing, we would go to my grandma and she always had nice words for us. Now, I do not remember if I was told that I was silly or stupid, or if it were my actions that were called stupid because it is an entirely different language, you know Hindi. I do not feel being hurt because we got the comfort right away.
However, when I moved to the US I realized that it is not nice to call kids names or make them feel bad when they are already feeling bad for their actions. I also noticed that a lot of couples live with little kids without their grandparents. So the family setup was different. My kids got the same setup as well. I came to understand that my kids are my world. Then I became very careful about scolding and getting mad at kids because who would they go to if parents get mad at them? So to me, being a mother was being a friend to my kids. Now do friends call their friends stupid? I don't think so.
Last Sunday, my son took his five year old and two year old kids and us to the zoo so my daughter-in-law could get some rest. It was a great gift. My two year old grandson fell asleep so I sat on a bench with him in my arms and everyone else walked around. I was watching people go by. There were kids getting their faces painted. I was having fun. Then I heard a man scolding his son. "How can you be so stupid? I just paid five dollars for that and you're messing up your face paint?"
The poor boy must have been hardly seven. He just started crying. His mother did not say anything, you know parents having uniformity in discipline and all. I felt like going and giving the little boy a hug. They just walked away and I had the baby in my arms. I was just thankful that my five year old grandson did not have to see that. It got me thinking, if Mother's day is just about a mother? I don't mean to make a big deal but times are changing. Kids are having it harder, so please don't hurt a kid's self-esteem.