Todler Taking Care of An Infant

Yesterday, I was sitting and taking rest on a chair in the mall. My daughter was doing her mall walk as it is very cold outside. I normally walk with her but I had a rough night on Saturday with my breathing so I decided to sit and watch people go by. There is a small area with little cars, fire engines, trains and rides for kids. The kind where you put quarters and they start. It is fun to watch kids do all kinds of cute things. Yesterday a toddler, ( or may be a nursery school age boy) came with his Mom and an infant brother in a stroller. Sure, he was quick to climb in the little fire engine and watched his Mom put the quarter in. The ride started and the Mom nicely brought the stroller close to the ride. Then she stepped up to the Hall Mark Card store and peeked in. The store was closed. She took out her I phone ( or smart Phone) and started using her fingers and her thumb. Her son in the ride called out "Momy!". She kept on typing and said, "I am right here."
The little boy called out again, "Momy!!". Same answer, "I am right ". She looked up and started playing with her phone again. The kid called out the third time,"Mom !!!" Same answer, "I am right here". this time the tone was a little stronger. The ride stopped and he got off. Then he came to the stroller, pulled the belt tight and yelled at the infant. "Don't try to get out !!! OK !!! Momy is busy !!!.

Mom's Multi -tasking Unsafe for the Little Ones

When we moved to Rhinebeck in the summer of 1977, my older son was three years old and my younger son was a couple of months old. It is very easy to take care of an infant. They say in India that even a blind person can take care of a baby up until six months of age. So until the baby started crawling, it was very easy. As soon as he started pushing on his stomach he became really ambitious. He wanted to hang out with his older brother and did not want to stay behind in anything. Before we knew, he was crawling like a racer. The house was an old fashioned, side hall colonial with beautiful hardwood floor and beautiful wood railing and huge windows. Now you think I would be thrilled to live in a place like that?  Man, the beautiful landing after twelve steps had me on my toes almost round the clock. When I told my grandmother my situation about the safety of my son, she suggested a playpen. No way was I going to put him in a playpen and make him miss out the fun he could be having with his brother who would never confine himself in a playpen at the age of three. So, the only thing left for me to do was limit my other chores to a minimum. I did that. I would cook a basic entree and rice for dinner. For breakfast and for lunch we limited ourselves to cereal, sandwiches and fruits. Our friends and relatives could not believe that being from India I have become so basic. I would some times eat cereal for dinner too, so my husband could have the leftovers for lunch if he wanted to. This way while my two boys would play in the hall running and crawling on the steps, I ran after them as well.
Earlier this week they said in the news that a young mother left her two kids in her car so she can shovel the snow. By the time she finished shoveling, the two boys had passed out because of the fumes. How I wish that I was her neighbour so I could keep an eye on the kids while she was taking care of the snow. With my daughter, I was lucky to have two older brothers who watched her in case I had to do some chores while their father was at work.

A Teacher Remembered

When my daughter told me about the twenty fifth anniversary of the tragedy of "Challenger " for a moment I did not recollect the space mission. She had to remind me and then all of a sudden I remembered that there was a teacher on that shuttle. I know that my daughter was only three years old but she remembers the tragedy as if she had understood the seriousness of it even at the age of three. It could be because of the fact that she was very much fascinated by space and astraunauts and cool people like that. As far as I am concerned my sympathies were for all of them, but more so for the teacher. Teachers are people who kids look up to and I was afraid that thousands of kids (including my own ) must have been heart broken. They were but thanks to President Reagan (then president) they did not loose faith. Kids are resilient and they bounce back. The same people who were kids then are now adults, and some of them have understood the gravity of that day and cannot help but cry.

Baby's Cuteness, not an Excuse to Stay at Home?

My husband and I were having a discussion about whether or not women should go to work. I think that it depends on the situation. I went to college to make sure that I have enough education to be able to support myself, my husband and  my children if my husband were to get sick or lose his job.  Today women are going to work because they like to have a career. Now the question of them working or not working arises only when they have kids. My opinion is that if a woman is married and her husband is making enough money to be able to have the basic necessities of life plus a little extra and some security, (six months' cushion,)  then a woman should be able to stay at home with her baby. One of my co-workers used to cry until half a box of tissues would be used up, because of the fact that her babysitter was enjoying watching her babies grow, she wanted to be the one to read stories and doodle with her babies. She used to say that she'd rather not own a house or a car than not be with her kids. She always used to regret being out of the house. When our company offered a severance package she was the first one to take it. Some people say that women were made to raise a family. I resent that statement. Some men are great with babies. My brother is an excellent cook. So we should be able to do what we do best. When it comes to kids, their safety and well being takes presidence over every other factor there is.
Our neighbours' baby is a doll. My husband feels bad for her Mommy, when he sees her dressed up for work carrying her baby in the infant seat in this cold weather but we do not know their situation. I can only hope that when they have their second baby she does not have to go to work.

Prepared For Compliment Day

I was prepared, so prepared for Compliment Day. I made a sign for the hall so all the residents in the building can see it. I wrote a note for the lady who delivers our mail. Then when I went to the supermarket I paid compliments to people who were working there. They were genuine compliments, not hollow. I also suggested to the lady at the customer service desk to tell her manager that it was compliment day and he should compliment his associates. She was happy and she said that she will. Wow, that made me feel better. Then there was an old lady who was shivering in the cold (one degree below zero) who looked at me and smiled and said, "That's it I am moving to Florida." I smiled back and asked her, "Do you want to be warm?" Before she said anything, I informed her "Today is compliment day,give your husband a compliment and you will feel warm." She laughed and smiled at her husband, who was walking towards the store after parking his car. I told my daughter what I have been doing all day. She was happy that I had a good day making people happy. I know that it did not cost me a thing. Being nice can be catchy. Compassion is needed in this world. May be all of us who claim to be religious can learn that if Love is Divine* and if God made us in his image then we should be compassionate. I see that compassion is nothing but an image of Love. (* like Seal says.)
Yesterday I miss spelled the word Compliment. My son caught that mistake but said that he likes the way I write. I know he is honest and so is his compliment.

Being Prepared, Key To Keeping Promises

The temperature this morning was one degree Fahrenheit. That means frigid and yet I was not feeling as low as I was feeling a couple of days ago. I think I am getting used to the cold weather finally. I should have been used to winter by now. With three feet of snow from the day after Christmas there were plenty of reasons to feel dull. The energy that was stored from spring, summer, and fall was helping me cope and I think finally fatigue is beginning to set in. So from now on, I will make sure that I eat right and yes, I will make sure that everyone eats right too. So, for next winter, I will plan ahead and eat extra healthy so, my energy level does not go down as the temperature goes down. I just have to make sure that I do not over eat.
Looking at baby pictures of my kids helped me a lot. A lot of people had told me that as you get older, you start feeling sad, because you keep missing your kids. I always miss my kids but on snow days and school closings I miss them even more. So for young parents I have some advice. Enjoy your kids on snow days instead of thinking that they are a handful and they keep you from your daily routine or they make you miss work. Once they grow up and go away or even have their own things to do, you can have plenty of time on hand. You can still work on your hobbies at old age, but kids are kids only once.
Hey, I kept my promise to enjoy writing.

Promises We Make

I promised myself that I would write every other day at least. Writing is something that makes me feel better. I guess sometimes you do not want to do anything, not even the things that make you feel better. I guess that is typical of winter feelings. I did not realize that we need the sun so badly in our lives. It has been a really cold winter so far. Although 1995 winter was supposed to have had the most amount of snow. I wonder why I did not feel that winter has ever been so tough. I mean, we used to shovel a six car drive way then, and now we do not have to shovel even. Looking over the years, winters in the past do not seem so bad, may be it was because kids were home, the things that were lined up to be done were enough to keep your mind busy and the things you do for your kids are so much more satisfying than just sitting and watching TV or reading a magazine. So now on I promise to be active and do things that I like then look in the picture albums of my kids as a reward.