"Please don't," said my Mom.
"Please don't," said my Grandma.
"Please don't," said my co -worker"
"Please do," said my niece.
As a little girl, I used to get upset to see our drawing room filled with smoke, whenever my father had a bridge game. His friends who could not smoke in front of their elders (you know, joint family and all) would avail the chance of being able to smoke in someone else's home. I would ask my mom if I could go and tell them not to smoke. Then my mom would say, "please don't, it is not polite."
Whenever my uncle came to visit my grandma he would ask my Mom for an ashtray. My aunt would say, "I have a bone to pick with him. He is going to die with black lungs." My grandmother said, "Please don't, otherwise he will stop visiting us."
Whenever I wanted to stop my co-workers from smoking, standing outside in cold instead of resting their feet indoors, one of my co-workers would get angry. "Please don't, it is not your business."
Last time when my brother was visiting us with his family, I told his wife that I am going to yell at him, if I see him smoke. My niece quickly came and said, "Oh Auntie, please do, please yell at my dad, please get angry at him, why doesn't he stop smoking, you know how bad it is for him." she sounded helpless and yet she was using all the help she can get to get her dad to stop smoking.
It has been a hundred years since that horrible fire in "The Triangle Waist company". March 25 1911, fire in which 146 people died. They included young girls, eighteen to twenty three. They say most of them were immigrant woman who wanted to make it in the USA to give their kids a chance, a good life. I am not saying that the cause was cigarette smoking,but they were speculating that a lit cigarette was callously thrown in the bin where there were scraps of fabric.
A few years ago, I was a proud participant of "CHAMPS" ie changing human attitude - - - making people safer. This program was implemented because we had to go through hundreds of thousands of pieces of clothing for vendor audit. I wish work places a hundred years ago had this program. May be then all those immigrant mothers would not have to die.