Saturday, April 9, 2011

A to Z Challenge

A tribute to the letter H

Back in 1997 when I was working in retail, the manager for home fashions department would always show us nice pieces of "name brand curios" and then very nicely ask for our suggestions. I used to work for ladies coats department therefore I could only give suggestions but not really decorate his department. One day we opened up a box and there were beautiful platters that had the words "HOME SWEET HOME" painted on them, with little houses and tiny white fences and kids playing and dogs with Frisbees. I showed one to a coworker "Aren't these so nice!" To my disappointment she had a long face, but she did not say anything. I felt really bad, did I hit a wound?
"What's wrong, honey? Everything all right?" I took her aside, as she had tears in her eyes. This was a young girl, as a matter of fact as young as my second son, working for little extra in her pocket, no household responsibilities, no worries, her dad working for a reputable company and her neighbourhood as upscale as can be for the town.
"Nothing," she said.
"Come on now. I'm not being nosy, but I'm here if you need to talk," I was feeling bad for her. It was her age to be chirping like a bird.
"My Dad cheated on my Mom," she started crying.
Then it became very clear to me why she did not like those platters.

They always say that a house is a house until you make it a home. How do we make it a home? What do we do to make sure that everyone who lives in that house, especially children, are taken care of? We try to live the American dream, give our kids the same toys as other kids, make sure their furniture pieces are matching, their curtains and walls just so. Is it possible that in the processing of providing all those things we are over working and getting stressed out? Is it possible that we are getting away from the other parent of our children, you know our spouse?  Why do people cheat? I would never blame the one who is cheated, but I always wondered.  One of my friends had gorgeous hair, but she always thought they were a pain. So I asked her why doesn't she get them cut. She said that her husband loved her hair and that she would not cut them. She was young. She said that there will be many more things that may come that might threaten her happy home.

"No happy home should have to be threatened," a friend of my uncle would say. Everyone used to wonder as to why he married someone who had no money, no looks, and no education. People used to be jealous of his wife. He was highly qualified. He could have gotten a beautiful, educated girl if it was up to his parents to find him one. He would not listen to anyone, he just loved her. I heard that he is still married to her and their children are very happy.

I am not trying to pin the blame on men only, I know some women, who did not care about their kids when it came to their own whims and fancies and cheated on their husbands.

Like my friend said, there are a lot of factors that make a "Happy Home", but to start with, let us be nice to each other, so kids can learn.


Ocean Girl said...

A home is a place you want to go home to.

Beautiful post Munir.

Tracy said...

This is a beautiful post...a home is somewhere you can totally feel and be yourself with acceptance, love and understanding. And I'm grateful for mine!

Footprints of Peace said...

You have written more than truth. Your blog gives a person something to think about. Unfortunately, my husband's ex cheated on him and has been trying to cover up her shame since the act. Now he and his children must pay for her choice by manipulation, insuring that the children will never learn of her infidelity.

This is something I don't think I shared on my blog. Just in case her children should one day discover it. No one wants to know that a parent cheated but it is worse when it is mom. Well have a great one.

Belle said...

If only parents would work on their marriage as hard as they work at everything else. It is the anchor of the home. Very good post.

Canyon Girl said...

What a thoughtful post. I just finished re-reading Tuesdays with Morrie and he said that when you come to the end of your life, family and love are what is the most important.--Inger

Hope said...

very good points brought up here. love your post for H day!

thank you for your visit. love your Haiku!

Vanilla Mama said...

Cheating does take away a home - I have been there. It is devasting, I made a new home for my kiddos, but it is never the same. Thanks for the post -

RosieC said...

Good reminders to respect and love the home and the people in it. :)

East for Green Eyes

Monalisa said...

Exactly munir, home is the first school of every child. And moreover, one cannot expect his/her child to be an angel when what they learn at home is devilish. This is something i always keep in mind.

NormalToEatPB said...

As Dorothy once said, there's no place like home